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nixCraft 🐧nixCraft@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:16 PM
'Roughly 70%' of internet is powered by PHP and BBC asked cyber security expert who is living under rock. Lmao 🤣 BBC please get someone from mastodon and they will explain it. Hahah ;) Joke asides, yes it is real https://www.bbc.com/news/live/ckgel5xp2xv9t I spent almost midnight to rebuild all images and push patches. More like just I had to change tag to get fresh stuff and validate it. I am not sure how long one can keep dealing with this security nonsense and stress associated with it.
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Replies

nixCraft 🐧nixCraft@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:24 PM
more php security stuff just for laughs from around the web...
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Ryan Castellucci (they/them) 🎃 :nonbinary_flag:ryanc@infosec.exchange
Oct 22, 2026, 12:18 PM
@nixCraft I expect many of the experts on Mastodon would tell BBC "sod off, anti-trans cockwombles" or something to that effect but ruder.
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Emily_Semily_s@mastodon.me.uk
Oct 22, 2026, 12:22 PM
@ryanc @nixCraft definitely ruder
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Dźwiedziudzwiedziu@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 1:40 PM
@ryanc
Also they tend to forget what “genocide” is.
@nixCraft
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sebsauvagesebsauvage@framapiaf.org
Oct 22, 2026, 12:18 PM
@nixCraft Duh. :doge: such expert - wow
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Alex(ithymia) :neobot_cat_ears: [lore expansion arc]alex@pawb.fun
Oct 22, 2026, 12:23 PM
@nixCraft
Imagine being a sports correspondent and finding out yesterday that basketball exists.
BBC hiring tech reporters with actual tech knowledge (Challenge Level: Impossible)
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Templaillo AhíTemplailloAhi@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:23 PM
@nixCraft
BBC Cyber expert: —Uh what is PHP
Average Mastodon trans catgirl: *prepares 47 slides* *clears throat*
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FandaSinFandaSin@social.linux.pizza
Oct 22, 2026, 12:28 PM
@nixCraft
That will need some ice! SICK BURN!😂
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AlexMellivora@im-in.space
Oct 22, 2026, 12:35 PM
@nixCraft I am so confused how these airheads breathe.
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Chris 🦑sturmsucht@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:35 PM
@nixCraft priceless
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donald_bradydonald_brady@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:38 PM
@nixCraft This is so good.
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Gabriele Marcosanti :opensuse:gmarcosanti@mastodon.uno
Oct 22, 2026, 2:23 PM
@nixCraft I didn't know cyber correspondents existed until today. 🤷
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Rexx Deane 🏳️‍🌈rexxdeane@mastodon.online
Oct 22, 2026, 4:37 PM
@nixCraft A dev coworker of mine once said, "Why are you using FLAGS? Nobody needs to use binary anymore. That's so low level."
Dick
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Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell:lanodan@queer.hacktivis.me
Oct 22, 2026, 12:24 PM
@nixCraft > Cyber correspondant

Well… maybe they just picked a random bloke from the internet, because that's pretty much what the title means.
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xenbunxen@plush.city
Oct 22, 2026, 12:29 PM
@lanodan @nixCraft
i love my puter, all my cyber correspondants are inside it
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Ozzelot :ai_free:ozzelot@mstdn.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:30 PM
@bunxen
i'm sliding into your girl's cyber correspondence
@lanodan @nixCraft
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Dan Yorkdanyork@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:24 PM
@nixCraft Hmm… that blows my mind. And would make me think he hasn’t worked much with websites. WordPress is around 40% of the web, and it’s all PHP… and so many other CMS’s use PHP, too.
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JerJer@chirp.enworld.org
Oct 22, 2026, 12:44 PM
@danyork @nixCraft This is actually a major problem in tech. If it's "old" people don't want to think about it. So they pretend it doesn't exist.
This is why COBOL has been a "dead language" since 1992 that still has high demand for experts who can read and write it. And why if you are a PHP expert you can find jobs even in a market where laid of tech folks are competing for crumbs. Because the "old" systems just aren't sexy enough to learn anymore (and companies don't want to train people).
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Kevin Russellkevinrns@mstdn.social
Oct 22, 2026, 12:27 PM
@nixCraft
Cyber correspondent "didn't know" php existed before today's news stories, the editor relpied when asked why his nephew was posting such stupid stories.
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Dodgy Pie 大雞排 ⭐️🔰🇺🇸 🇵🇭 🎐gcvsa@mstdn.plus
Oct 22, 2026, 12:38 PM
@nixCraft It's so frustrating that there are people like this in the world, getting paid huge salaries to do a job they aren't competent to perform, when I can't find a job that pays a living wage. "didn't know PHP existed". WITAF. Nice work if you can get it, eh?
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volkris@social.cleverlibre.org
Oct 22, 2026, 12:48 PM
@nixCraft
BBC is reporting that their own "cyber correspondent" is so unaware of his area of reporting that he didn't know PHP existed?
What's next, BBC saying their sports correspondent didn't know football had field markings?
Wow.
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Stevanwithaveeay@mastodon.scot
Oct 22, 2026, 12:50 PM
@nixCraft The BBC have a long and dishonourable history of this type of thing:
"Find me someone named Guy who knows something about technology"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Goma_BBC_interview
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Mathias Hasselmanntaschenorakel@mastodon.green
Oct 22, 2026, 12:55 PM
@nixCraft Might be that self-hosting public servers is over since the arrival of LLM that can do competent security analysis. Time for Strato, Hetzner, GoDaddy... to find a new business model?
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Retret@furry.engineer
Oct 22, 2026, 1:03 PM
@nixCraft
"Ret the Folf" has been working in the software industry for twenty years. We asked them whether the PHP incident today was as serious as some are saying. They said "defund and dismantle the BBC".
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canleaf08 加拿大葉子 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇪🇺canleaf@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 1:10 PM
@nixCraft The same people who think that trans people started to exist in 2000.
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VioVioB@eldritch.cafe
Oct 22, 2026, 1:23 PM
@nixCraft *impostor syndrom goes brr* lol.
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Alerta! Alerta!heiglandreas@phpc.social
Oct 22, 2026, 1:38 PM
@nixCraft The name's "Tidy" ... no wonder they never came in contact with PHP... 🙈
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WTLWTL@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 1:39 PM
@nixCraft “Expert” I was just saying yesterday that anyone that refers to themselves as an expert, I tend to become *very* suspicious. If someone *else* refers to them as an expert, it’s dialled back a fair bit.
BBC needs to do some vetting of their experts. 😳
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Neil Van Dykeneilvandyke@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 2:14 PM
@nixCraft The most knowledgeable candidates for the job misunderstood hilariously when asked to be a "cyber correspondent".
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Vanettavan4u@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 2:16 PM
@nixCraft hi
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JPelope@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 2:16 PM
@nixCraft ...What was difficult about the up-date?
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Michael Eggers 🇺🇦🇪🇺pythno@mastodon.gamedev.place
Oct 22, 2026, 2:19 PM
@nixCraft Haha omg. Oh so you’re one of those invisible heros shipping patched packages? Thanks mate! Patched my server yesterday.
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Support GrapheneOS 667SupportGrapheneOS_667@social.tchncs.de
Oct 22, 2026, 2:21 PM
@nixCraft
Be professional they said 🤦‍♂️🤦🤦‍♀️
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Alfonso Martínez de Lizarrondoalfonsoml@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 2:27 PM
@nixCraft Fortunately, they didn't ask him about Linux
"Linhas you say?, sorry mate, I haven't heard about that"
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patxipatxi@mastodon.world
Oct 22, 2026, 3:00 PM
@nixCraft
I bet his super secure passwd is 4
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Christian Berger DECT 2763casandro@f-ckendehoelle.de
Oct 22, 2026, 3:21 PM
@nixCraft Honestly I'd take those 70% into question. AFAIK PHP is one of the options for configuration in yate, and it's used for some "websites".
Other services, like e-Mail or Bittorrent don't use PHP AFAIK.
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Jensohyran@social.piewpiew.se
Oct 22, 2026, 3:27 PM
@nixCraft dudes name is Joe Tidy... What more can you want? I am ready to look past a lot of stuff for a badass name.
Best regards,
Pete Catastrophe
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Taran Rampersadknowprose@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 3:32 PM
@nixCraft an expert at... what? 🤣
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Bowreality 🇨🇦💪Bowreality@thecanadian.social
Oct 22, 2026, 3:40 PM
@nixCraft
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Seth Galitzersgsax@mastodon.social
Oct 22, 2026, 4:16 PM
@nixCraft This, Jen, is the Internet
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四yon@sakurajima.moe
Oct 22, 2026, 4:33 PM
@nixCraft Should have asked Count Binface instead.
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#?.info :commodore:poundquerydotinfo@virctuary.com
Oct 22, 2026, 5:03 PM
@nixCraft It's the BBC. Are we *sure* it was the real Joe Tidy? ;-)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Goma_BBC_interview
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Leonardo Fontenelleleonardof@bertha.social
Oct 22, 2026, 7:39 PM
@nixCraft Medical doctor here. I remember reading and playing with PHP in 2006 because I was considering a custom WordPress theme. I'm almost sure to have seen the name before, as am alternative to ASP. Just to agree, what rock was this guy living user? Maybe he was the only one available for the interview exactly because he knew nothing of PHP?
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HeliographHeliograph@mastodon.au
Oct 22, 2026, 9:36 PM
@nixCraft this yellow marked line is rather discombobulating 😳 Rybec correspondent if anything
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Nazonazokiyoubinbou@urusai.social
Oct 22, 2026, 9:45 PM
@nixCraft I think he was wording it for effect, but seriously, there are people who don't know how to turn on a computer who at least know of the existence of PHP (having seen .php on like 75% of the Web.)
Is ASP even still around?
Honestly, even if he was going for effect, yeah, he comes off as someone who has never even used a computer ever before. Possibly not who they want as a "cyber correspondent."
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MrGrumpyMonkeymrgrumpymonkey@mastodon.social
Oct 23, 2026, 12:34 AM
@nixCraft This is what middle management looks like.
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Marcial L MaligasoMarcialm32@mastodon.social
Oct 24, 2026, 9:24 PM
And so far I don't have any problems, it's sort of good to talk out your issue, a lot of stuff in the net are like Mental Health, and but things doesn't have to be perfect, just write them the best that you can. Sometimes issues arise again, sometimes at home. Like recently an issue about Magazines, there's a lot of work in books. Things should be OK.
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