Aug 14, 2026, 6:31 PMI know you all hate the emergency alert about disposable barbeques.
But yesterday I watched a man at our hotel breakfast set fire to a toaster by trying to toast a croissant - despite multiple signs telling him not to.
Today he tried again.
So, you know, calibrate for the average person.
@Edent Rule zero is an actual rule for a reason.
@summerbeth @Edent This is related to the commercials that say "don't take this drug if you are allergic to this drug."
@summerbeth @Edent wait, who' the DM in this scenario?
@Edent sounds like your candidate was well below average 🙄
Nah. A lot of people are just really thick.
@Edent Regularly seeing sights like that (and the perpetrators usually getting angry with hotel staff about the outcome) are how I lost the last of my faith in humanity.
@suearcher @philpem @Edent They have been using Face Page for years , they are programmed to fail , get used to it .It's our new reality 🙊
@suearcher @Edent Indeed.. I think George Carlin said something about that, and statistical distributions. "Imagine the average person - now remember that half the people you meet today will be dumber than that."
@Edent Should a message gone out.. probably
Did it need to be an emergency alert, not really
Aug 14, 2026, 6:38 PM@Edent our neighbouring village held a fireworks display last night.
@graham_arden @PhilA @Edent Folks near me have been burning brush and trash this week despite the 90f+ temps and high winds. Yeah we've been getting some rain but it's not enough to stop a fire. The wind and sun dry everything out very thoroughly and we're surrounded by pine trees.
Thick and dense as a lead brick they are
Aug 15, 2026, 5:02 AM@UkeleleEric @Edent we're in a semi-rural part of Suffolk. Tinder dry fields all around. Fireworks seem the height of irresponsibility.
@Edent I imagine the 'remove cardboard sleeve before microwaving' exists for a similar reason.
@Edent I think there could be something less dramatic than a full scale alert but yes the reminder was valid
@Edent Reminds me of that park ranger quote "There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists"
This is probably the clearest i can express my feeling about the content of this post
@Edent We have had serious fires 4 miles or so from here and the M6 was closed at Castle Bromwich and houses were burning in this county (West Midlands).
Some utter [REDACTED] set off fireworks last night...
I'm not sure the alert will stop the wilfully stupid.
Aug 14, 2026, 11:10 PM
@phil55494 @NatalyaD @Edent Burn them at the stake! (Too harsh?)
@NormanDunbar @phil55494 @Edent I'd certainly want to think about fire education - while avoiding the pointless traumatise people approach which is unhelpful.
Years ago, a colleague's neighbour set fire to their garden & colleague's garden. BIG bonfire, too close to fence, many people too close to fire in gauzy floaty clothes adding more stuff; ignored colleague's warning/worry & had no hose on standby. Colleague watched from a window and called 999 as soon as she saw it go up.
@NormanDunbar @phil55494 @Edent
At least our neighbour few houses away who burns stuff has a sprayer on hand and she constantly squirts the fences and watches her bonfires constantly. And I would hope won't burn stuff right now when it's SO dry.
@NatalyaD @phil55494 @Edent We used to get all sorts of "Public Information Broadcasts" when I was back in the 1960s (and 70s?). These were 5 minutes long and gave out useful advice.
How to safely cross the road.
Never mix radial and cross-ply tyres.
Wear protective clothing when working in risky situations.
Don't play with matches.
Don't start fires in the countryside.
Always follow the country code.
They were great!
There's none of that anymore. 😟
@pmonks @Edent @mycotropic I think this says it very well.
The average person is not very smart.
@SteveClough @Edent @mycotropic And yet they’re smarter than 50% of the population!
@Edent I see you and raise you someone getting a burning waffle out of a toaster using two metal knives as chopsticks.
@alexmagill @Edent the metal implements are not a risk with British mains electricity - no metal part of the toaster will be live (it would be earthed).
@UkeleleEric @alexmagill @Edent The *outer body* of a toaster is earthed.
But the heating element by definition isn't. And could even be live if the toaster is powered. Which hapens simply by lowering the basket. Which is normally done by pushing down an external lever, but could also be achieved by shoving a suitably long and rigid object. Such as a large piece of bread or the metal knifes-as-chopsticks.
[...]
@UkeleleEric @alexmagill @Edent
[...]
After pushing down the basket and powering the toaster:
If the idiot is lucky, at the exact moment they stab the heating element with a knife, that knife would still be in contact with the basket or some other earthed part of the toaster at a point between the tip and the idiot's hands.
This short would trip the circuit breaker (or in a British setting, blow the fuse in the power cord), saving the idiot
[...]
@UkeleleEric @alexmagill @Edent But if the "soon to be post-humous recipient of a Darwin Award" isn't lucky, at the moment of the stab the knife is only in contact with their hand and with the live heating element.
That would send quite some amps at 220V through them.
@dryak @UkeleleEric @alexmagill @Edent And then, they *are* toast!
@dryak @alexmagill @Edent Not all toaster elements have metal contacts accessible from the slot. I've had a toaster (quite a while ago) that had a ceramic element.
@Edent Any barbecue can be a disposable barbecue with enough lighter fluid.
Aug 14, 2026, 9:35 PM@rupert But take out the heavier solids, like sustainable, reusable char, before applying lighter fluid.
@Edent Calibrating for the average person makes you realise someone out there is going to think "Now the woke lefties have told me not to, I'm going to have FIVE barbecues!!"
Just talking to my sister in Hampshire and she'd seen something on the local news, a reporter doing vox pops, talking to a woman who was saying "Oh, it's terrible, we were due to be on holiday in the New Forest next week" and the reporter said "Would you have been having a BBQ?" and she said "Yeah, probably, well... we might still do...."
@suearcher @Rhodium103 @Edent 🤦🏻♀️
@Rhodium103 @Edent I will tell all the rightwong idiots to NOT tpuch the 20kV cable, while wesring a woke lgbtq climat chane t-shirt.
Then hopefully the problem will darwin itself.
Aug 14, 2026, 7:48 PM@Edent no let him keep trying, clearly he is onto something
@Edent
There is no cure to stupidity…
@Edent
It is unacceptable that on the second attempt you didn't get video of the event
Aug 14, 2026, 8:14 PM@notyourfanboy I have failed you and will try to catch his antics tomorrow 😄
(source unknown)
Aug 14, 2026, 8:16 PM@DukeDuke eugenics isn't a good look for you.
@Edent I actually think it's fine. I'm not sure people understand that wildfires don't just magically start and that they're responsible to not start them. This does kinda feel like an emergency...
@Edent will he be able to read and understand the alert though?
@Edent tell him he should pour water while inserting the croissant to avoid starting a fire
@Edent Misuse of the conveyor belt toaster in our halls of residence resulted in several breakfast time fire alarms.
@Nickiquote @Edent those things are shonky af. Correct usage will regularly cause a small fire...
