Nov 3, 2026, 4:42 PMthe restroom mirror is covered in propaganda about how, in spite of what you know, the dyson airblade is an engineering marvel
I wash my hands and wave them under the bicycle handlebars attached to the faucet in order to activate the airblade
it blasts cold air onto my hands with painful force. the remaining foaming soap still in the bowl of the sink shoots up and covers the mirror.
my hands are still as wet as when I started. no amount of airblade dries your hands
Nov 3, 2026, 6:34 PMa lot of people are posting in this thread about how good the dyson airblade is
a product that has never dried my hands under any circumstance in any incarnation in any geographic location I’ve ever been in
Nov 3, 2026, 6:35 PM“no you see it’s good and innovative because” I suddenly rip off your mask and you’re water in a human suit
Nov 3, 2026, 6:35 PMthe dyson airblade is a conspiracy by big moisture to make more wet
Nov 3, 2026, 6:37 PM“no you see the competition is even worse” the competition doesn’t have a pervasive propaganda campaign about how good it is. you see an old school steel single hole hand dryer you know you’re leaving soaking wet
Nov 3, 2026, 6:38 PMthe airblade’s marketing is so good that people came here to tell me why it’s one of humanity’s great inventions and none of them seemed to care that it doesn’t dry your hands, ever, at all, regardless of circumstance or time spent or technique
Nov 3, 2026, 6:38 PMthe device only succeeded in covering the mirror and the space around the sink with soap foam
what about that is good
@zzt I like trying to not touch the wet sides of the machine that everyone else has touched, which is only slightly larger than a pair of hands.
@zzt They're mostly marketing wank, but in my experience that style of "air squeegee" works surprisingly well to get the majority of liquid off if you do it right (and it's installed in a way that makes it possible...)
That said, I still prefer some good old recyclable/compostable dead tree. Less hand-crap vaporized and splattered all over the place.
Nov 3, 2026, 5:51 PM
@zzt it can't be that stupid,
@davidgerard @zzt As someone I know once said (well wrote, on the bottom of a photo of a Dyson AirBlade), "The messiest urinal".
@davidgerard @zzt Here’s the evolution of a local commercial centre when it comes to drying your hands in their restrooms, 2016-2026:
Big rolls of paper → Regular air blower → Dyson AirBlade → Big rolls of recycled paper.
😅
@zzt So many Dyson products are a list of easily rectified design flaws. It's as though the whole company is a piece of performance art dedicated to filing clever-looking patents.
@zzt extra strength airblade that somehow 1) slices your hands clean off, 2) still leaves them wet
@zzt if you think they're bad, wait til you see the other premium hand dryer offerings who only know how to turn up the airflow. it's like drying your hands behind a 747's engine
Nov 3, 2026, 5:40 PM
@zzt They had these were I worked a while ago. One day I came into the restroom and there was coffee everywhere. I would have liked to see the person who did it and whether it was by accident or out of curiosity.
@zzt Dyson products seem largely performative rather than functional
@zzt Everyone is talking about how effective or not the Airblade is or isn't at drying hands, while not at all mentioning how all of these air blowing hand drivers are disgusting bathroom air pushers that just make your hand dirtier than if you just shook the water off or used a paper towel when available...
@zzt it does however aerosolise a lot of bacteria, which is... good?
Nov 3, 2026, 6:36 PM@zzt "The Abyss" much? "GODDAMNIT BREATHE" (Ed Harris)