I have a long-standing terror of mandoline slicers and just learned that a friend got a bad cut on her hand from one of these.
unless you're inhumanly careful, maybe don't own a mandoline slicer 😬
@regehr I realize avoiding them really hampers my ability to cook certain things and I've just come to accept it
Oct 2, 2026, 9:09 PM@regehr we have had one for a while and it only nicked us once the very first time we touched it. i feel like it reached an understanding with us in that moment.
@atax1a may this truce last for a long time
Oct 2, 2026, 9:13 PM@regehr it's lasted us over a decade and more than one gender
Oct 3, 2026, 1:54 AM
@regehr I have one of these which seems fairly unlikely to seriously injure me... but I usually just use a knife
@regehr ...a knife, which I have totally never injured myself with
@dan I have one of these too! and like you, I mostly just use a knife :)
@tobinbaker @dan **vegetarians vacate the chat**
@regehr actually since then I've used a kevlar fish fileting glove for my slicing hand
Oct 2, 2026, 9:13 PM@regehr have had one for years and love it.
As we started teaching the kids to cook, we bought cutting gloves so that they could learn to use knives and the mandolins and we didn’t have to worry about a terrible mistake. 100% recommend.
@regehr kevlar gloves can be handy here
@regehr I use one for a quarter apple to go into my overnight oats each morning. Without protection, after coffee. But I have done it so many times that I know when the apple is a bit odd and I should stop early. I do the last inch with a knife anyway.
When I use one for daikon, cabbage, carrot, or other occasional vegetable, I use a cut-resistant glove. I used that to learn how to do the apple.
A friend once called it “dangerous when used as designed”.
@regehr My V-slicer came with a plastic hand-guard (with metal pegs that poke into the root end of the onion) and I almost always use it.
Oct 2, 2026, 9:43 PM@regehr - my wife is a former urgent care NP. We will never *ever* own a mandoline.
@regehr on the other hand, invisible apple cake and potato gratin. I have a lot of fingers, as it turns out
@gthm I still have 10, but I often think about the time I watched my brother -- when we were kids -- cut a tendon in his hand, which of course then retracted way back into his arm where it was remained ever since...
Oct 2, 2026, 10:48 PM@regehr I hope that friend is okay, I have the same fear for certain types of cheese slicers and brrrrrr okay changing thoughts.
@regehr
chainmail gloves are a thing, they might help
@regehr same, Not Even Once
@rygorous the question is whether the kitchen appliance is aligned for good or for evil
@regehr that's the whole problem, mandoline slicers aligned for neither good nor evil, they are however precisely aligned for slice fingies
they do not know of nor care about your silly human morality
Oct 3, 2026, 12:23 AM@pervognsen
reminds me of the warning signs found on lathes
@rygorous @regehr
@wolf480pl @pervognsen @rygorous 4 days since
Oct 3, 2026, 6:45 AM@regehr
nah, "this machne can't tell the difference between metal and flesh, nor does it care"
@pervognsen @rygorous
Oct 3, 2026, 7:34 AM@wolf480pl @regehr @pervognsen @rygorous Have you seen the safety thing they have on some table saws that instantly stops the blade if a finger touches it?
@mansr @wolf480pl @regehr @rygorous "Teeth exploded" would be an even better clickbait caption if it left it ambiguous whether it was talking about the human operator's teeth.
@mansr @wolf480pl @pervognsen @rygorous one time I spent like an hour watching videos of this
@mansr @wolf480pl @pervognsen @rygorous I still find it pretty counterintuitive that it's not all that hard to stop a saw blade after you're touching it and before it does much damage
@pervognsen @regehr DO NOT STRUM ON MANDOLINE
Oct 3, 2026, 4:07 PM@rygorous @pervognsen @regehr well i got me a little bitty benriner, she makes my fingers bleeeeeeed
Oct 3, 2026, 1:06 AM
@rygorous please Fabian. as you are well aware the mandoline is 5 hit dice and neutral evil
@pervognsen @regehr @rygorous I see what the problem is
Oct 3, 2026, 1:08 AM@regehr we have a real deli-style meat slicer and I am less worried about it than I am about the mandoline.
Oct 3, 2026, 2:23 AM@regehr kitchen stuff I fear:
1. Mandoline
2. Instant boiling-water tap
3. Oyster shucking tools
…
1000. Everything else
Oct 3, 2026, 3:10 AM@steve @regehr I once dropped something on the switch of my Vitamix. It was plugged in and all the accessories were inside the jug (tiny kitchen). It pushed more than one accessory out the side of the (quite sturdy) jug so now those go on my list too. At least Magimixes have lockouts for this stuff.
Also blunt knives that should be sharp. Up there with oyster stuff.
@tobinbaker @steve @regehr A normal electric kettle is less than a minute to reach target temp. You must be jonesing for tea. :)
@pervognsen well I also use it a lot to clean stuff in the sink, although that gets a little dicey if you're not wearing insulated gloves or mitts :)
Oct 3, 2026, 1:04 PM@tobinbaker @regehr it is a phenomenal convenience, hence why we have one, but it’s definitely the thing I consider most likely to injure someone (other than the mandoline, of course).
Oct 3, 2026, 2:26 AM@SnoopJ @regehr that’s the theory!
However: in a workplace setting, you'd be like "this is how you use it, never do anything else or you're fired," and that would be that. But at home there's endless opportunity for "well, it isn't really the right way to use it, but if I just do _this_ then I can use up the last of this piece of ham, and that should be safe enough if I'm careful..."
Oct 3, 2026, 2:30 AMOct 3, 2026, 2:35 AMOct 3, 2026, 3:11 AM