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  • Aleenaleen@wandering.shop
    May 25, 2026, 7:11 PM

    it's still fat shaming if you're talking about someone reprehensible

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Replies

  • Jargogglesjargoggles@kolektiva.social
    May 25, 2026, 9:27 PM

    @aleen
    Yeah, when you body shame someone like Trump, he's never going to read it anyway.

    But you know who will read it?

    All kinds of perfectly wonderful people who feel just that little bit less okay with how they look. They don't deserve that.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 25, 2026, 9:50 PM

    @aleen @jargoggles yeah, but valid criticism doesn't work on them. You have to bully them for superficial things because that's what THEY care about. You can call them a bad person every way possible and they just think it's funny or annoying. But if you call them ugly, fat, gay, poor, whatever THEY see as reprehensible - that's what hurts them. Either that or ignore them entirely. But you can't give them attention without insulting them, because they love the attention, and if you're going to insult them, you have to do it in a way that they actually feel insulted. Obviously if people are just using it as an excuse to fat shame anyone they can, that's fucked up. But if it really is specifically to demoralize the worst people ever, I think it should get a pass, even be encouraged given that we are fighting for our lives out here

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  • CarolynCStamp@mastodon.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:25 PM

    @ArcMother It's still a fashion choice. I know lots of balding men with no combovers. It might be ageist to suggest that only old people have hair loss. I've known men who started losing their hair in their 20s. It's a genetic thing. @jonathankoren @aleen @jargoggles

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  • Chaotic Catboykittyboy77@tech.lgbt
    Jul 1, 2026, 11:12 PM

    @martinvermeer Tiny hands Trump isn't reading that either. Tiny hands me just did. To be clear, you aren't making me feel bad about myself. You're telling me why I shouldn't trust you.

    Unpacking why you think having small hands makes someone less of a man is basic reading if you want to fight transphobia

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  • Kagan MacTane (he/him)kagan@wandering.shop
    May 27, 2026, 11:00 PM

    @ArcMother Hi, bald man here. (Check my userpic.)

    When my hair started thinning on top, I could have opted for a combover... if I'd been silly enough to think it would a) look good or b) fool anyone.

    I wasn't that silly. I shaved it instead.

    I don't find the use of "combover" as an insult offensive at all. As @CStamp rightly points out, it's a fashion choice. And criticizing and even insulting people for their *choices* is fine.

    @jonathankoren @aleen @jargoggles

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  • QuyetPawzQuyetPawz@tech.lgbt
    May 25, 2026, 10:58 PM

    @ArcMother @aleen @jargoggles as a fat person I overhear anyone making fat shaming commentary about -anyone- and I assume that that's how they think about all fat people. I mentally note that that person isn't safe and keep my distance.

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  • Blue Emublueemu@shakedown.social
    May 25, 2026, 11:35 PM

    @ArcMother @aleen @jargoggles

    Equating petty insults with "fighting for our lives" is about the most juvenile attitude I can imagine. You think if you call Trump fat enough times he's gonna give up and go home? You think that's how you stop fascism? Patently fucking ridiculous.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 25, 2026, 11:51 PM

    @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles it's not the only thing you do obviously, theres LOTS of things we should be doing. But its one valuable tool. And yes, it is juvenile. Because THEY are juvenile. You have to speak their language if you want them to care what you say. For example, I'm a woman, but I'm not going to assume someone is sexist because they tell a maga tradwife to shut up and get back in the kitchen when they're saying that women shouldn't vote, because it uses their own bullshit against them and that's the point. They don't want her to shut up because she's a woman, they want her to shut up because she's a terrible person promoting terrible things, and they're pointing out the hypocrisy of what she's doing. Same reason I call Andrew Tate ugly, even though it doesn't actually matter. It matters to him and people who would listen to him. You make him seem uncool, he has less confidence and less social pull. It is juvenile, but it works, and that's what matters. I would never actually think less of anyone for these superficial things, that's completely different. And I'm obviously not going to use the n word as a white person, wtf kind of question is that, its not the same thing

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 8:56 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I dunno, if you've heard "get back in the kitchen" from bullies your whole life, you might flinch at hearing it from an ally, even directed at a bad person. Or maybe you have and wouldn't because you're strong and good for you.

    But I'm fat and hearing people call Trump fat just makes me feel crappy. Cuz my supposed allies seem to think fat is bad. And/or they're not very clever. Either way, it's demoralizing. For me.

    I must be a bad ally.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:16 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I flinch at things too, but I understand why people are saying it so I make effort to not take it personally. It gets easier over time. You're not a bad ally for having feelings and I would never claim that. People who are saying I'm just as bad as the Nazis because I called a Nazi fat however, are bad allies.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 9:22 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles You seem like you are very good at understanding why people are saying the things they say.

    If I see you call a bad person "fat," what should I intuit? That you *do* think fat is bad but you're only saying it because the bad person is the bad thing, but you wouldn't call me fat because I'm a good person who is the bad thing? Or that you don't think "fat" is bad at all and you're only pretending you do to try to hurt the bad person's feelings?

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 9:48 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles So, everything there is to say about a guy like Trump or *waves hand rightwardly* and you pretend something that isn't bad is bad because it might hurt their feelings?

    In practice, I don't think I've ever seen hurt feelings in these exchanges. It's almost happiness, I assume cuz they prefer name-calling than debating issues or values.

    And then they turn to all the fat republicans within earshot and say, "See? These liberals hate you for who you are."

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:54 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles you've really never seen a terrible narcissist lose confidence because their looks were insulted? It works really well. You genuinely should try it sometime, especially if they're making fun of your weight. If its in person, it can be a quick way to shut them up (assuming they're not violent). And the Nazis don't hate us because we hate them, they just hate us because we aren't them. No amount of being nice is going to make them less horrible to us. Trust me, I've tried. Juvenile insults just work better.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:01 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I do actually have a lot of experience with clinical narcissists. And childhood bullies. And college Republicans. And then there's the people we see on the YouTube.

    Yes, juvenile insults work well with a small subset of those people, but even childhood bullies can get pretty good at parrying a juvenile insult, even one delivered with calm composure.

    I'm not nearly as good at knowing what people are thinking as you, though, so I guess I'm wrong.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:15 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles The facetious part is calling back to your argument being based so much on what you think you understand about other people's thoughts.

    This part, too:

    It's a shame Democrats have been sleeping on the "juvenile insult" kill move. They were probably misled by all of us weak fatties saying "actually, we're kinda repulsed by fat phobia coming from people who say they care about us." The fools.

    Seriously---I think this kind of activism is corrosive.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 10:19 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I study psychology and specifically narcissists and psychopaths. I've studied and dealt with these people for actual decades. So yeah, I know it works. I wouldn't do it if it didn't work, for all the reasons people are jumping down my throat about. Also, I'm not running for office, I'm starting flame wars in maga comment sections. Very different strategies for very different purposes.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:35 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I apologize for being facetious and I'm going to stop, but I really hope you can hear me on this:

    You mentioned your qualifications only briefly, but decades of study and experience I and probably most of the people in your mentions have too. You're not a singular expert.

    Us lefties, we listen to each other and try to do better.

    Instead of stepping on people's hurts so you can continue to hurl insults you don't really believe in, try listening.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 10:42 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I listened. But you're telling me that it doesn't work and its not worth it. Those things are not true. So.. What else do you want? I'm not going to pretend something is true that isn't and give up on a strategy so that you guys will like me better or something.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:59 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I have given you a lot of reasons why I think it is counterproductive. I wasn't hoping you would renounce truth, but hopefully reconsider your conclusions. Or, absent that, at least recalculate the cost-benefit here.

    I'm not working on you with a tactic. I'm not making an argument I don't believe in because I want a certain outcome.

    I get that maybe we need to break some eggs to win. I'm not sure anything about what you're doing here is helpful.

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  • ChookMother 🇦🇺🦘anne_twain@theblower.au
    May 29, 2026, 3:53 AM

    @ArcMother @humanadverb
    It may work well when aimed directly at the narcissist, eg face to face, but in this case you posted it on a social media platform that I'm pretty sure Trump doesn't use. So, you're far more likely to hurt the feelings of good people than affect Trump in any way. So really, your justifications don't apply here. Perhaps you have another set of justifications for upsetting good people here on Mastodon, in which case I'd be interested to hear them.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 29, 2026, 4:30 AM

    @anne_twain @humanadverb@dice.camp I call trump fat in MAGA spaces as I said several times but no one wants to read I guess. People in here are only upset that I said its okay to do that. Christ. READ.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 29, 2026, 2:41 PM

    @anne_twain It seems @ArcMother is successfully disguising herself as a conservative so her taunts don't give other conservatives the idea that liberals hate fat people, but disguising herself in a way that lets fat liberals understand that she doesn't really mean it, allowing us to try harder to not be hurt by all the free-flying faux hatred of fat people.

    So, really, I'm glad she's explaining all of this on social media because (and I'm ashamed to say this) I might have become confused.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 9:54 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles Here's the real issue I have with this, though...

    "You calling people 'fat' hurts me." You say, "Well, I'm going to do it because it's effective and you can try harder not to be hurt."

    You're not someone who seems safe to organize with. I'm not going to ask people to step up and put themselves at risk, doing hard work, only to have to put up with being (indirectly) insulted by a peer.

    Is yours the attitude of someone who cares about people?

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:59 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles yes, I am someone who cares about people. More than most. But I care about everyone's safety (beating the fascists) more than some peoples feelings being hurt. Also, I don't call him fat in organization circles, I do it where his sycophants are, in enemy territory so to speak, because the point is to hurt his popularity.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:45 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles And, truly, you may think you're landing body blows "in enemy territory," but I'm not so sure.

    Like the fat tradwife who is deep in an alternate reality, but might find the courage to question stuff when hubby throws out her fat gay son. Does it help or hurt if she saw a lady with a pride flag call her fat and tell her to get back in the kitchen?

    A lot of people across the aisle can find their way out. It helps if we represent our values.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 10:52 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I'm talking about insulting the leaders of these things, not random brainwashed victims. I'm talking about people like trump and kristi noem and elon musk. These horrible privileged psychopaths who know what horrific things they're doing, and are proud of themselves, and brag in public. I don't pick fights with random people who arent threatening me, because yeah, maybe they are victims too, or at least may switch "sides" at some point.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:57 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles Correction: "Like the fat tradwife who is deep in an alternate reality, but might find the courage to question stuff when hubby throws out her fat gay son. Does it help or hurt if she saw a lady with a pride flag call her" president fat?

    Does that bond her and her president in common cause against those Gender Radicals who have their hooks in her son?

    I think maybe it's better if the pride flag lady is at least making arguments she believes in.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 11:18 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles again, I do this in maga spaces. You think I'm waving my pride flag around? When trying to get the sort of people who think fat is a great insult to listen to me? That would just make them more likely to dismiss me. I am just a faceless commenter there to mock the dictator and help chip away at his public image. That's the whole point. Adding other factors complicates things, as you pointed out. For all they know, I'm one of them.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 11:30 PM

    @ArcMother ... Of course. I should have realized you would be incognito while saving the world from fascism with juvenile insults.

    It sounds like there's just a huge amount of darkness in your life. I find it kinda sad and gross. I guess if you're going to work so hard to repel everyone, it's better if you're wearing a MAGA hat.

    But, I apologize, this has been my mistake. I was engaging with someone I took to be well-meaning, and I was trying to encourage you to be less toxic.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 28, 2026, 12:46 AM

    @humanadverb seriously? Yeah never mind, you weren't actually engaging in good faith. You were just trying to get me to cave. You've run out of argument so now you're just mad. Fuck yourself.

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  • Vincent SparksAVincentInSpace@furry.engineer
    May 29, 2026, 4:59 PM

    @ArcMother thank you for being yet another example of why it is pointless to ever engage with the sort of thoughtless privileged unmitigated asshole who calls themselves an internet anarchist.

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  • Jennifer Moore 😷unchartedworlds@scicomm.xyz
    May 29, 2026, 7:29 AM

    @ArcMother

    "Also, I don't call him fat in organization circles, I do it where his sycophants are, in enemy territory so to speak, because the point is to hurt his popularity."

    "I don't pick fights with random people who arent threatening me"

    Yet here you are on Fedi, arguing with fat people for what a great tactic it can be to use fatness as an insult.

    (I suspect there'll also be people reading this thread who consider themself ugly, or know that others consider them ugly.)

    Your attack vector is not as neatly targeted as you seem to imagine.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 29, 2026, 8:08 AM

    @unchartedworlds I was just trying to DISCUSS it. Is even that not allowed? Fuck this. I'm so done. Any more bad faith, under-thought and overly hostile responses from strangers aren't getting a reply from me. You're just getting insta-blocked for polluting my fedi experience with this weak and insincere crybully crap.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:55 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles that happiness you're talking about I think is what happens when they know they've gotten you off the topic they were worried about, or because they like seeing you angry. But if you're calm and confident while being insulting, it fucks with them

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  • Claudeswitch@tenforward.social
    May 26, 2026, 12:18 AM

    @ArcMother we abstain from using oppressive language to talk about bad people out of respect for our comrades. Besides, oppressive language to trigger change in bad people doesn't work. @aleen @jargoggles

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 26, 2026, 12:33 AM

    @switch @aleen @jargoggles it doesn't change their character, but it changes their behavior, which is kind of a big deal. If we were talking about some asshole at the store, sure, hold back out of respect. But when the stakes are this high and the people are powerful public figures, it makes sense to take whatever shot we can. I'm not gonna hold back from insulting horrible people based on what they're insecure about. Its a tactic that anyone can use to do a lot for very little effort. It would be dumb to just leave that on the table and not use it.

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  • Jargogglesjargoggles@kolektiva.social
    May 26, 2026, 11:44 PM

    @ArcMother @switch @aleen
    There's a lot of things that shitty people are insecure about that have nothing to do with what their bodies look like. I'm not going to contribute to a toxic culture that belittles good people.

    You talk about taking shots, but what you're referring to is more like firing blindly into a crowd. You can afford to be a little more precise than that.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 12:25 AM

    @jargoggles @switch @aleen its not firing blindly into a crowd to point out that trump eats too much garbage to look anything like those stupid cards he sells with ai images of himself. And he doesn't care that he's lying, so you have to emphasize the fact that he is fat and not chiseled or whatever like he wants to pretend. Also, there are not enough things worthy of legitimate criticism that these assholes actually care about or understand to mock them for effectively.

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  • Aleenaleen@wandering.shop
    May 27, 2026, 2:27 AM

    @ArcMother your own biases are showing here, though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I'm not the boss of you. Just understand that you're hurting people around you far more than you're hurting Trump or those trad wives who will never see your comments.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 2:55 AM

    @aleen not my bias, its theirs, that's the point. But keep missing it if you want. Also, they (and their fans) do see my comments, I make sure of it.

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  • Kitkat, summer hate accountkincat@eldritch.cafe
    Jul 1, 2026, 2:51 PM

    @Sylvhem @switch @ArcMother @aleen they also never anwered the comments asking them for sources (I guess we're supposed to trust the Internet stranger's self-declared expertise), the comment asking if it would be okay according to them to use the n-word on Clarence Thomas (after all, this guy clearly has a lot of internalized racism, so by their own logic it should be okay!), and they kept saying they only call the leaders fat but also mentioned yt comment sections, where anyone can be but Trump himself definitely won't see it.

    At this point I'm eagerly awaiting a toot defending misgendering Caitlyn Jenner. Or I would be if I hadn't muted them.

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  • Jargogglesjargoggles@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 10:22 PM

    @ArcMother @switch @aleen
    Sure, talk about how delusional he is, how he's completely insecure, how fragile he must be to need that kind of thing, etc.

    It's even clear you understand the concept, otherwise you wouldn't have felt the need to qualify it with the stuff about how he's a hypocrite.

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