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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 8:56 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I dunno, if you've heard "get back in the kitchen" from bullies your whole life, you might flinch at hearing it from an ally, even directed at a bad person. Or maybe you have and wouldn't because you're strong and good for you.

    But I'm fat and hearing people call Trump fat just makes me feel crappy. Cuz my supposed allies seem to think fat is bad. And/or they're not very clever. Either way, it's demoralizing. For me.

    I must be a bad ally.

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Replies

  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:16 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I flinch at things too, but I understand why people are saying it so I make effort to not take it personally. It gets easier over time. You're not a bad ally for having feelings and I would never claim that. People who are saying I'm just as bad as the Nazis because I called a Nazi fat however, are bad allies.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 9:22 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles You seem like you are very good at understanding why people are saying the things they say.

    If I see you call a bad person "fat," what should I intuit? That you *do* think fat is bad but you're only saying it because the bad person is the bad thing, but you wouldn't call me fat because I'm a good person who is the bad thing? Or that you don't think "fat" is bad at all and you're only pretending you do to try to hurt the bad person's feelings?

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 9:48 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles So, everything there is to say about a guy like Trump or *waves hand rightwardly* and you pretend something that isn't bad is bad because it might hurt their feelings?

    In practice, I don't think I've ever seen hurt feelings in these exchanges. It's almost happiness, I assume cuz they prefer name-calling than debating issues or values.

    And then they turn to all the fat republicans within earshot and say, "See? These liberals hate you for who you are."

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:54 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles you've really never seen a terrible narcissist lose confidence because their looks were insulted? It works really well. You genuinely should try it sometime, especially if they're making fun of your weight. If its in person, it can be a quick way to shut them up (assuming they're not violent). And the Nazis don't hate us because we hate them, they just hate us because we aren't them. No amount of being nice is going to make them less horrible to us. Trust me, I've tried. Juvenile insults just work better.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:01 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I do actually have a lot of experience with clinical narcissists. And childhood bullies. And college Republicans. And then there's the people we see on the YouTube.

    Yes, juvenile insults work well with a small subset of those people, but even childhood bullies can get pretty good at parrying a juvenile insult, even one delivered with calm composure.

    I'm not nearly as good at knowing what people are thinking as you, though, so I guess I'm wrong.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:15 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles The facetious part is calling back to your argument being based so much on what you think you understand about other people's thoughts.

    This part, too:

    It's a shame Democrats have been sleeping on the "juvenile insult" kill move. They were probably misled by all of us weak fatties saying "actually, we're kinda repulsed by fat phobia coming from people who say they care about us." The fools.

    Seriously---I think this kind of activism is corrosive.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 10:19 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I study psychology and specifically narcissists and psychopaths. I've studied and dealt with these people for actual decades. So yeah, I know it works. I wouldn't do it if it didn't work, for all the reasons people are jumping down my throat about. Also, I'm not running for office, I'm starting flame wars in maga comment sections. Very different strategies for very different purposes.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:35 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I apologize for being facetious and I'm going to stop, but I really hope you can hear me on this:

    You mentioned your qualifications only briefly, but decades of study and experience I and probably most of the people in your mentions have too. You're not a singular expert.

    Us lefties, we listen to each other and try to do better.

    Instead of stepping on people's hurts so you can continue to hurl insults you don't really believe in, try listening.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 10:42 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I listened. But you're telling me that it doesn't work and its not worth it. Those things are not true. So.. What else do you want? I'm not going to pretend something is true that isn't and give up on a strategy so that you guys will like me better or something.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:59 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I have given you a lot of reasons why I think it is counterproductive. I wasn't hoping you would renounce truth, but hopefully reconsider your conclusions. Or, absent that, at least recalculate the cost-benefit here.

    I'm not working on you with a tactic. I'm not making an argument I don't believe in because I want a certain outcome.

    I get that maybe we need to break some eggs to win. I'm not sure anything about what you're doing here is helpful.

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  • ChookMother 🇦🇺🦘anne_twain@theblower.au
    May 29, 2026, 3:53 AM

    @ArcMother @humanadverb
    It may work well when aimed directly at the narcissist, eg face to face, but in this case you posted it on a social media platform that I'm pretty sure Trump doesn't use. So, you're far more likely to hurt the feelings of good people than affect Trump in any way. So really, your justifications don't apply here. Perhaps you have another set of justifications for upsetting good people here on Mastodon, in which case I'd be interested to hear them.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 29, 2026, 4:30 AM

    @anne_twain @humanadverb@dice.camp I call trump fat in MAGA spaces as I said several times but no one wants to read I guess. People in here are only upset that I said its okay to do that. Christ. READ.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 29, 2026, 2:41 PM

    @anne_twain It seems @ArcMother is successfully disguising herself as a conservative so her taunts don't give other conservatives the idea that liberals hate fat people, but disguising herself in a way that lets fat liberals understand that she doesn't really mean it, allowing us to try harder to not be hurt by all the free-flying faux hatred of fat people.

    So, really, I'm glad she's explaining all of this on social media because (and I'm ashamed to say this) I might have become confused.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 9:54 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles Here's the real issue I have with this, though...

    "You calling people 'fat' hurts me." You say, "Well, I'm going to do it because it's effective and you can try harder not to be hurt."

    You're not someone who seems safe to organize with. I'm not going to ask people to step up and put themselves at risk, doing hard work, only to have to put up with being (indirectly) insulted by a peer.

    Is yours the attitude of someone who cares about people?

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:59 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles yes, I am someone who cares about people. More than most. But I care about everyone's safety (beating the fascists) more than some peoples feelings being hurt. Also, I don't call him fat in organization circles, I do it where his sycophants are, in enemy territory so to speak, because the point is to hurt his popularity.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:45 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles And, truly, you may think you're landing body blows "in enemy territory," but I'm not so sure.

    Like the fat tradwife who is deep in an alternate reality, but might find the courage to question stuff when hubby throws out her fat gay son. Does it help or hurt if she saw a lady with a pride flag call her fat and tell her to get back in the kitchen?

    A lot of people across the aisle can find their way out. It helps if we represent our values.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 10:52 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles I'm talking about insulting the leaders of these things, not random brainwashed victims. I'm talking about people like trump and kristi noem and elon musk. These horrible privileged psychopaths who know what horrific things they're doing, and are proud of themselves, and brag in public. I don't pick fights with random people who arent threatening me, because yeah, maybe they are victims too, or at least may switch "sides" at some point.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 10:57 PM

    @ArcMother @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles Correction: "Like the fat tradwife who is deep in an alternate reality, but might find the courage to question stuff when hubby throws out her fat gay son. Does it help or hurt if she saw a lady with a pride flag call her" president fat?

    Does that bond her and her president in common cause against those Gender Radicals who have their hooks in her son?

    I think maybe it's better if the pride flag lady is at least making arguments she believes in.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 11:18 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles again, I do this in maga spaces. You think I'm waving my pride flag around? When trying to get the sort of people who think fat is a great insult to listen to me? That would just make them more likely to dismiss me. I am just a faceless commenter there to mock the dictator and help chip away at his public image. That's the whole point. Adding other factors complicates things, as you pointed out. For all they know, I'm one of them.

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  • humanadverbhumanadverb@dice.camp
    May 27, 2026, 11:30 PM

    @ArcMother ... Of course. I should have realized you would be incognito while saving the world from fascism with juvenile insults.

    It sounds like there's just a huge amount of darkness in your life. I find it kinda sad and gross. I guess if you're going to work so hard to repel everyone, it's better if you're wearing a MAGA hat.

    But, I apologize, this has been my mistake. I was engaging with someone I took to be well-meaning, and I was trying to encourage you to be less toxic.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 28, 2026, 12:46 AM

    @humanadverb seriously? Yeah never mind, you weren't actually engaging in good faith. You were just trying to get me to cave. You've run out of argument so now you're just mad. Fuck yourself.

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  • Vincent SparksAVincentInSpace@furry.engineer
    May 29, 2026, 4:59 PM

    @ArcMother thank you for being yet another example of why it is pointless to ever engage with the sort of thoughtless privileged unmitigated asshole who calls themselves an internet anarchist.

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  • Jennifer Moore 😷unchartedworlds@scicomm.xyz
    May 29, 2026, 7:29 AM

    @ArcMother

    "Also, I don't call him fat in organization circles, I do it where his sycophants are, in enemy territory so to speak, because the point is to hurt his popularity."

    "I don't pick fights with random people who arent threatening me"

    Yet here you are on Fedi, arguing with fat people for what a great tactic it can be to use fatness as an insult.

    (I suspect there'll also be people reading this thread who consider themself ugly, or know that others consider them ugly.)

    Your attack vector is not as neatly targeted as you seem to imagine.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 29, 2026, 8:08 AM

    @unchartedworlds I was just trying to DISCUSS it. Is even that not allowed? Fuck this. I'm so done. Any more bad faith, under-thought and overly hostile responses from strangers aren't getting a reply from me. You're just getting insta-blocked for polluting my fedi experience with this weak and insincere crybully crap.

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  • Mother AnarchyArcMother@kolektiva.social
    May 27, 2026, 9:55 PM

    @humanadverb @blueemu @aleen @jargoggles that happiness you're talking about I think is what happens when they know they've gotten you off the topic they were worried about, or because they like seeing you angry. But if you're calm and confident while being insulting, it fucks with them

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