The four-year-old figured out that he can dictate into Messages on the iPad and that grownups can mostly read the results. But a). He’s four, and silly, b). he has a couple of the common preschool speech impediments, and c). he can’t actually read what he dictated. The results are dadaist puzzles.
"It's me, hi. I'm your own guy, it's me."
Jul 8, 2026, 12:25 PM@maxleibman it's him, your own guy!
@maxleibman That's adorable! 😊
Jul 8, 2026, 12:40 PM@maxleibman
"It's me your own guy" 🥹
@maxleibman
Your own guy 🥰
@maxleibman "your own guy" got me in the feels.
@maxleibman it reads like a trump posting on social media.
@the_turtle @maxleibman no need to insult toddlers in here...
@edgeofeurope @maxleibman true. The four-year-old doesn't do the Random Meaningless Capitalization or misuse of ALL CAPS.
@the_turtle @maxleibman except T doesn't recognise that there is a difference between messages and messes
@cliffordheath @maxleibman his brain is all hamberdered out. Wasn't he the guy who "pardoned the Thanksgiving turkeys" and talked about deporting them to "their country" -- meaning Turkey, where they didn't come from?
@maxleibman any translation for less experienced readers? "It's me your own guy" = "it's very urgent"? "Apply" = "reply"?
I'm guessing folks tell kid "you're my guy" somewhat on the regular. 😊
@maxleibman drop this over a phat beat and you got yourself a banger
@bcoker @maxleibman fucking legit in my brain right now.
I'm going to sign off all my messages with that 🥹
Jul 9, 2026, 2:13 AM@TwoClownsEating @maxleibman I’m making this my goddamn email signature.
@maxleibman art.
this is so adorable and makes my heart squeeze
@maxleibman That's so cool. It also somehow reminded me of this:
Jul 8, 2026, 1:56 PM@Bez_Lightyear @maxleibman "I may never stop saying Ow" 😂
@Bez_Lightyear @maxleibman how have I never seen this before!!!
@maxleibman "it's me your own guy" has such "middle-aged dad signing text messages" energy, I love it
delightful.
compare and contrast:
Less messy than many adult messages!
"Your own guy" 🥹
@maxleibman This is great! Four is such a fun age
@maxleibman you gotta keep posting these. This is pure gold.
@maxleibman
This is great!
I had to learn how to send a voice message over my phone a few weeks ago. My granddaughter, 6, was texting me, so was texting back. I received a text saying, “Nana, I can’t read! Send a voice message.”
Oops. 😂
Jul 8, 2026, 2:55 PM@maxleibman Now I'm tempted to open a feature request with Apple to give Siri a children's voice option.
Jul 8, 2026, 4:35 PM@maxleibman FB23638061
(If you don't see the Feedback app, you can open it via this link in Safari: applefeedback:// )
I've attached an example generated on https://speechgen.io/en/child-tts/ - this is just too cute!
Jul 8, 2026, 4:47 PM@maxleibman The "Pixie" voice is even better in picking up the different sentences without the punctuation.
RE: https://beige.party/@maxleibman/116884326841775088
I realize this is supposed to be a cute story, but I'm stuck on the part where no one thinks twice about handing a four year old an iPad. Generation Beta is cooked.
Jul 8, 2026, 3:36 PMTechnology is not inherently evil. It's all about the context of how it's used.
You have no idea what the context of the iPad is, it could easily be the kid saying "I want to message Daddy" and being handed the iPad for that task.
My daughter will regularly point to my phone and say "I want to type" at which point I will open a random group chat and let her go to town on the keyboard for a few minutes and send whatever letter and number salad comes out.
@maxleibman So glad that I read half the messes before getting context.
@maxleibman I would subscribe to these messages
@maxleibman hehe, ‘dada’ist
@maxleibman fair enough.
Jul 8, 2026, 4:27 PM@maxleibman ❤️❤️❤️
@maxleibman sounds like he's ready for a fulfilling career in unsolicited job recruitment. That looks like messages I get on my answering machine all the time
@maxleibman if only some adults I know would get to the point so quickly. Hat off to your own guy 😊
Jul 8, 2026, 4:54 PM@maxleibman cute!! 😍
@maxleibman
Kid's got a good rhythm going, has some great potential at poetry. 👍
@maxleibman He's not stupid, after all - when I was 4, I couldn't even send a dictated message, let alone use an iPad. (To be fair, though, I have to say that I'm well over 40.) 👴
Jul 8, 2026, 6:31 PM@maxleibman "Dictated not read, your own guy."
@maxleibman
Your own guy can look forward to a lucrative career as a poet, in my opinion, Max.
I'm sure you'll be saving his juvenalia to be donated to one of the esteemed academic institutions that will clamor to house his works for scholars.
@maxleibman i can hear him signing off in that heavy jersey accent
“who? it’s me! your own guy!”
Jul 8, 2026, 7:00 PM@maxleibman you know what that's a good point the speech detection SHOULD work on young kids whose palates are still soft but we understand them anyway
@maxleibman this reminds me a lot of my son discovering he can take mom's phone and send me pages and pages of emojis and gifs.
@elebertus He's also done some good work in that genre.
@maxleibman how did I miss this?
I am ashamed...
@Wallflower You were distracted by your cubicle buddy.
@roknrol
🤣 it's so true
@maxleibman
@maxleibman 😹 Adorable!
Jul 8, 2026, 9:27 PM@maxleibman sorry, wrong number, this is somebody else's guy
@maxleibman
This is my favorite thing on the innerwebz this week.
@maxleibman Hell, and I cannot stress this enough, yeah
@maxleibman "Oh hi Marc!"
this got me right in the feels ❤️
@maxleibman is your 4-year-old ghostwriting for Taylor Swift?