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  • Manuela MalasañaXibanya@mastodon.xyz
    Oct 15, 2026, 3:57 AM

    What cheesed my friend off was that their refusal to run out and get a card table was based on the premise "you are capable of using your laptop by standing on a crate" without regard for anything but the literal problem "consultant too short for our standing desks" and no thought of the symbolic nature of the crate. She felt like not only was she being treated like a literal child, but that she was forced to look like a child. Why introduce these bad vibes when u could just get a fkn card table

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  • Manuela MalasañaXibanya@mastodon.xyz
    Oct 21, 2026, 9:41 PM

    help i am a man what can i do proactively to keep sexism from making it harder for us to make software aside from purging the sin from my heart??

    a few things
    - make u workplace ADA and OSHA complient
    - do not use "culture fit" (aka "do they have my same hobbies") as hiring criteria
    - have an office administrator on payroll whose job it is to do stuff like make sure there is enough coffee n pens n shit; if u cant afford one dont make this a female senior engineer's job for some unholy reason

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  • Manuela MalasañaXibanya@mastodon.xyz
    Oct 21, 2026, 9:45 PM

    - make u project managers pay attention to who is talking and if someone cuts a woman off during a meeting have them moderate (big props to the PMs I have known who were great at this)
    - make taking notes a rotating task or use voice to text or something
    - get one of them fancy pro tier coffee machines with buttons n stuff
    - if u meetings are longer than an hour, bathroom breaks pls
    - WORK FROM HOME, LET EVERYONE WORK FROM HOME

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  • Manuela MalasañaXibanya@mastodon.xyz
    Oct 21, 2026, 9:58 PM

    For those outside of the US, ADA refers to the Americans with Disabilities Act and OSHA is Occupational Safety and Health Administration. So the "make the woman stand on a crate" incident would not happen in a workplace following these regulations because
    1. u gotta account for people who can't stand (thus must have actual ass tables)
    2. u cant make a lady stand on a wobbly slidey plastic crate all day because jfc

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  • GinaGina@fosstodon.org
    Oct 21, 2026, 8:04 AM

    @Xibanya This whole thread is so painfully relatable.

    Everything from having to take notes as the only female dev in the room (I was young, the way I would tear them to shreds now lol), to being talked over in meetings, not being included in jokes, expected to get coffee, expected to write CSS as a Java dev because "girls are good at making stuff pretty", having ideas stolen, documentation witheld because I didn't want to go over it at the senior devs house (?!?), etc. So many examples ffs.

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  • Esther Payne :bisexual_flag:onepict@chaos.social
    Oct 21, 2026, 5:56 PM

    @Gina @Xibanya I remember the worst interview I ever had, they asked a question about where I saw myself in 5 years time and I stated I wanted to help people.

    "What, like a nurse?"

    It wasn't until I did the debrief with my partner I realised that was a sexism. Because he pointed it out. I just thought the interview sucked.

    Other parts of the interview sucked as well, I could tell I wasn't a culture fit.

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  • Kristin Henry: artist. Runs vis.social.kristinHenry@vis.social
    Oct 22, 2026, 4:48 AM

    @onepict @Gina @Xibanya In the last few years, I've been more focused on my art, and doing live events with it.

    Much of it is created with code, and is inspired from my days in Scientific computing

    After one conversation, my husband was angrier than I'd seen him in a long time. He was irate that this strange man was so disrespectful can kept "trying to catch you at something"

    I had to explain that it was a regular experience for me

    Hubby was shocked. I said, it didn't stand out.

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  • Kit , actual human (hire me!)kitwinter@dice.camp
    Oct 21, 2026, 7:58 PM

    @Xibanya As someone who is both 1) often read as femme (genderqueer but... let's face it, going to be read as femme) and 2) short af, yeah. There's so much.

    And that's BEFORE getting into my area of specialization - which is accessibility.

    Because I found out a lot of devs nowadays don't... think about things like keyboard navigation. They just assume it's there, even when it isn't.

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  • Ben Rosengartfivetonsflax@tilde.zone
    Oct 22, 2026, 4:42 AM

    @Xibanya mitigating the impacts of sexism is a worthy goal in itself!

    Thanks for your super thoughtful thread.

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  • bnuuybnuuy@mathstodon.xyz
    Oct 21, 2026, 10:12 PM

    @Xibanya i've... basically just had sleep stop working for me properly about like 2 + 1/2 years ago, and one of the ways it affects me is that being able to sit down and *lean back* has become incredibly important to me to help me conserve my energy.
    and *maybe* it would also neat to also have a standing or walking desk as an option, since moving around can also help keep me awake (but traps me in having to, like move around), but i haven't had the opportunity to try that, and out of the two the option to sit down has been way more important to me.

    i appreciate this sort of thing not getting forgotten about.

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  • Cavyherdcavyherd@wandering.shop
    Oct 22, 2026, 3:56 AM

    @Xibanya @bnuuy

    My workplace has its issues, but I'm suddenly appreciating its strong & explicit DEI push A LOT MORE.

    Thank you.

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  • Dana Friedtess@mastodon.social
    Oct 21, 2026, 10:21 PM

    @Xibanya a thing I learned as a manager who is very good at running a meeting while taking notes at the same time is that it is a skill and most people (especially men) are absolutely terrible at it - often resulting in things they're (often unconsciously) not paying full attention to (like women talking) not getting written down at all.

    You either need a competent person taking notes or text to speech, else you'll have meeting notes that are at best useless and at worst erase participants.

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  • MostlyBlindGamerMostlyBlindGamer@dragonscave.space
    Oct 21, 2026, 11:56 PM

    @Xibanya I’ve seen plenty of men refuse to press the fancy buttons on the fancy coffee machine. It’s wild.
    I think your pragmatism is super relevant, but I know way too many men who don’t do any of this on accident or just because it’s easier.
    As for ADA, OSHA and bathroom breaks… I’m multiply disabled, if your thing depends on me not taking my own bathroom break on my own time, I guess it sucks to be you.
    Of course if we say the solution is for women to have that attitude, you get into the epitome of “Bad culture fit” where she’s self-important, bossy and so on and so forth. Truth be told, one path to “a society where…” is a lot more women acting like that and walking all over the men who intentionally or accidentally walk over them. A little of everybody doing what has to be done to get things done.

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  • tuban_muzurutuban_muzuru@beige.party
    Oct 21, 2026, 10:20 PM

    @Xibanya

    How to build a team, and not those foo-foo Team Building Exercises:

    Don't hire just-one-woman, hire two.

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  • Manuela MalasañaXibanya@mastodon.xyz
    Oct 21, 2026, 10:21 PM

    @tuban_muzuru it is depressing how often in my career I have been the only female engineer. when I was a kid in the 90s they told me sexism was over!!!!

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  • VANTABlackVANTABlack2000@mastodon.gamedev.place
    Oct 21, 2026, 11:17 PM

    @Xibanya The whole "culture fit" argument here is so flawed. (Not you the action you are complaining about) Mind you I am a 26M Gamer/Game Dev. Culture is so much more than one hobby. The "Too much of a mom" I think of 2 things.

    1. She said she couldn't connect BECAUSE her kids are young which means otherwise she WOULD try to know more if the latest games and can connect
    2. Some moms end up being "work moms" to younger workers which can make them feel closer and improve morale in my experience

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