People aren’t faking their disabilities, they’re faking being well.
We know society hates us.
We know we will be judged for using assistive devices.
Many of us take years to get the courage to lean in to accommodations.
Stop judging. Help us build a more inclusive world.
@broadwaybabyto I would be a lot safer on my walks if I used my walker. But the broken sidewalks and occasional lack of cut curbs are demoralizing and reduce or eliminate the benefit of the walker. The city has been fixing sidewalks, which is nice. But my will has been broken. 😕
@spiegelmama @broadwaybabyto Is there somewhere you can go to find someone who could advocate for you? (or with you?) You shouldn't have to carry this burden on your own.
@nandor I know my city representative in passing. I could ask her. But there's a lot of internal ableism and fear of mortality that cause more problems, frankly. You're right, though, I should say hi and check in about sidewalks. @broadwaybabyto
@spiegelmama @broadwaybabyto Yes you should--but I'm guessing that takes a lot of initial work on your end, right?
Is there a community (online or otherwise) for allies of disabled people? Over the past hour, I've been reflecting on two things:
* All of my experiences advocating for disabled people have been for *elderly* people with mobility/mental issues (eg, my parents my brother's in-laws, my parents' friends). As such, this has given me a really skewed impression of needs of disabled people = people who are retired / less social, with declining health who typically just need to transition into a senior community. People like you or many engaging with these posts seem much younger. You have active careers and social needs. And unlike for elderly people, your health is stable and you *are* living independently with no need to transition into a semi-assisted community.
* Unlike for other minority groups (Black/Latino, LGBTQ+, etc), who typically gain allies just by being in society and making friends, I imagine disabled people are often kept out of society because of their disabled status and lack of accommodations--and as such, can make it difficult to gain allies.
To you and anyone else reading this thread, please comment on my thoughts above. I'd like to hear what you have to say.
Sep 28, 2026, 5:17 AM@broadwaybabyto
Everybody: If you don't believe this, please listen to disabled people. Find them on the fediverse and follow them for a bit. We do talk about our struggles in safe spaces.
I have ADHD and Autism and even my mind got blown on how cruel my countrys society is after following a few blind people who toot about how many times people carelessly park their cars or scooters on the sidewalk: "Sometimes my cane detects the obstacle. Sometimes my kneecaps do."
Or the comments they hear from behind: "He's faking it! He's clearly looking at the shop window!"
Sep 28, 2026, 5:54 AMIt took my wife way too long to admit she needed to use a wheelchair. She had extensive arthritis and frequent but not chronic pain. But it wasn't until pulmonary embolisms damaged her lungs that she finally gave wheelchairs a try and it made a huge difference. Most people push themselves to do without the aid they need because, at least in the United States, we are brainwashed into thinking your ableness is the same as your worth.
@broadwaybabyto I definitely see how people fake being well. I grew up seeing double a lot and faked having read things all the time.
But I also found myself faking seeing worse than I did. This was because no one, not even myself, could understand that one can see static unmoving objects clearly while being unable to see moving objects or read at a normal speed. It was easier from a social perspective to have poor vision than to have "weird" vision.
I have an acquaintance with a joint disorder which causes her to be painfully tired a lot of the time. She goes around in a wheel chair even though she can walk pretty much fine. People question her, why does she use a wheel chair when she can walk. And I notice that she stays in the wheel chair even when its easier to get out, just so that people don't pull "you're faking it" card when they see her walk.
I guess we just have this weird binary thinking like "you're either %100 disabled or you're completely fine." While most people fall on some spectrum of disability.
@timthelion @broadwaybabyto this binary thinking causes a lot of problems for people who, like me, live with fatigue or other fluctuating conditions.
We go out and do stuff on our good days. We stay home to rest and recover on our bad days. Which means people only see us on our good days and judge us entirely on that.
> one can see static unmoving objects clearly while being unable to see moving objects or read at a normal speed.
Hmm that's interesting.
I'm vaguely under the impression that some birds bob their heads when they walk for exactly this reason: to keep their vision static-ish, so that their brains have more time to process what they're seeing.
@argv_minus_one @broadwaybabyto I honestly don't understand it and whether its a brain problem or an eye problem, but I now have glasses with prisims in them and rarely see double while wearing glasses.
Sounds like astigmatism, which is an eye problem, often specifically a cornea problem.
Your eyes have to look at slightly different angles in order to look at the same object. Normally, this is no problem, but if the images are distorted badly enough by astigmatism, then your brain will struggle to do this. Then you get double vision, eye strain, and so on.
@broadwaybabyto It is very sad. But do note not all judge. I adopt the Buddhist concept of acceptance with all I meet. At least try to and mostly succeed - which results in many good connections with strangers.
Sadly, tech cultivates a simplistic, polarised view of many things in life - it creates a me-now-fast mindset that misses away too much.
@broadwaybabyto HELLS YEAH. I have several invisible disabilities (brain injury, AuDHD), and I get this a lot. I think that we may appear "put together" on the surface, but people don't realize what's going on internally. It's not fake. 😺
Sep 28, 2026, 11:56 AM@broadwaybabyto "but what about that person that obviously faked...", yes, let us take away the need for everyone that might need it, because someone may have faked it...
"I have an insuranse claim, my car got stolen!"
"Sorry, we had a person two years ago that faked a car theft, we cannot give you anything, what if you are also faking it???"
@broadwaybabyto I’m always astonished by the number of folks who think I’m doing well.
No I just mask/cope/present that way…
@colinstu My ability to mask gets harder and harder the older I get. It’s exhausting. I’m so tired.
Sep 28, 2026, 1:50 PM@broadwaybabyto They don't hate you, they don't judge you. They're weak and scared, because disabilities show them the fragility of human life. And contrary to dead people, its hard to ignore people with disabilities, because they're still there reminding everyone that it could be them, too - just one stroke, heart attack, accident ...
And confronted with such an inconvenient truth, humans do what humans do: ignoring, denying, and accusing you of exaggerating or even lying.
@broadwaybabyto And yet people readily turn to AI for assisting their mental skills, something far more flawed than a cane, a walker, glasses, or hearing aids. And it carries a stigma too, in sane circles. What's the difference? Cultural I guess. Something that can change.
I'm told my grandma got dirty looks for her disabled placard.
Apparently, unless you're literally confined to a wheelchair, you aren't disabled enough to use the disabled parking spaces. 😒
I'm guessing most of the dirty-look-givers weren't eligible to use the disabled parking spaces themselves, so she wasn't even inconveniencing them.
@broadwaybabyto THIS - SO MUCH THIS!
@broadwaybabyto
Only place I've seen people fake disabilities is TikTok. Mose notably Tourette's and DID.
@broadwaybabyto Hello