Fesshole 🧻fesshole@mastodon.social
Aug 20, 2026, 10:20 AMBoyfriend cuts carrots lengthwise into long strips, coats them in marmite, and puts them on pizza. Should I dump him? He's still a good shag and before him I was on a dry spell.
Replies
Not The LBC GuyNotTheLBCGuy@mstdn.socialAug 20, 2026, 10:30 AM@fesshole if I were Rob I’d seriously consider adding a third string to the Fesshole/Anon Opin bow with an account called “Should I Dump My Partner?”
Biggles 20X6!Taco_lad@aus.socialAug 20, 2026, 10:30 AM@fesshole if this is what makes him weird, I'd count yourself lucky.
And this way you always have something to talk about with friends.
Giles of the Junglegilester45@twit.socialAug 20, 2026, 10:35 AM@fesshole Obviously not. Pizza topping gatekeepers need to do one. It's so boring. The beauty of pizza is that everyone can have a different one!
SupermoosieSuperMoosie@mastodon.auAug 20, 2026, 10:35 AMDrug dealer ? No
Drug user? No
Hits you? No
Drinks too much? No
Gambles money away? No
Dole budger? No
Dud shag? NoSo why do you want to dump him? Marmite carrots
Queen Faunackthrice@tabletop.socialAug 20, 2026, 11:01 AM@SuperMoosie @fesshole Tf is a dole budger?
knackknack@aus.socialAug 20, 2026, 11:29 AM@ackthrice @SuperMoosie @fesshole Australian slang; "bludger" = someone who will go to unusual lengths to avoid doing any work, "dole" = unemployment benefits
Umbrellaumbrella@aus.socialAug 20, 2026, 2:22 PM- Umbrellaumbrella@aus.socialAug 20, 2026, 2:23 PM
Aug 20, 2026, 10:35 AM@fesshole That’s just crazy enough to work.
Aug 20, 2026, 10:50 AM@fesshole His pizza, not your problem.
I So Paleisopale@mastodon.socialAug 20, 2026, 10:50 AM@fesshole Can't imagine why a person who'd consider dumping someone over pizza toppings was in a dry spell. Very curious indeed.
Clayfootclayfoot@mastodon.socialAug 20, 2026, 11:03 AM@fesshole idk why he's trying to poison your pizza, but a good shag is hard to beat
Fabrizio :archlinux: :tardis:betelgeuse93@mastodon.unoAug 20, 2026, 12:32 PM@fesshole if you are not Italian it's ok.
If you are Italian you have to call an exorcist.
Alexalexsexton_@mastodon.socialAug 20, 2026, 12:53 PM@fesshole It could be worse, he could be putting pineapple on pizza.
Killa Koaladshan@mastodon.auAug 20, 2026, 3:07 PM@fesshole Find a guy who puts pineapple on his pizza like a normal person.
BoneHouseWasps🔶🇬🇧🇪🇺BoneHouseWasps@beige.partyAug 20, 2026, 5:52 PM@fesshole Yes, you should. He could do better.