I think I've figured out why the incidence (and centrality) of assholes is so much higher on the right. What conservatives have proven to be most concerned with conserving is systems that run on trauma. Patriarchy. White supremacy. Oligarchy. None of these work without abuse. Without people excited about abuse. That is, assholes.
@williampietri another reason why tolerating abusive people can never be leftist.
@akareilly Definitely! I know there are plenty of abusers that operate under cover of leftist language and ideas. But I think it's always ultimately self-defeating, because they're just replicating the same structures.
@williampietri @akareilly Largely I agree! May I add a small note that we shouldn’t tolerate abusers *behavior.*
Speaking as one whose whole family is MAGA, I think it’s important for abusive people to understand how to fix the behavior in order to be accepted within leftist spaces. It’s a big part of why the abusers are drawn to the right from what I’ve observed; if they feel they can’t win on the left, the right validates their BS.
That said…
@williampietri @akareilly Folks who are threatened by the abuse don’t owe their abusers an education. But that’s what real ally ship is IMO-your lefty collaborators showing the abusers a better path so their targets don’t need to.
Deffo open to thoughts and experiences there! This is a very specific lived experience perspective that I know not everyone shares
It depends on what the victims want, and whether the abuser is willing and able to take part in rehabilitation. Sometimes that rehabilitation needs to happen somewhere else. Sometimes the abuser is so far gone that his removal is the only safe option (my personal experience is with a person who sought revenge on everyone who tried restorative justice, bragging that he had ruined lives).
Someone who learned abusive behaviour but can do better should understand that the victims deserve a break.
Oh to be clear, I'm not saying we shouldn't prioritize survivor safety (I prefer to use 'survivor' for myself since it's less passive)
I'm saying that when we slot people in to binary categories like "abuser" and "not abuser" I've seen it hurt the movement, rather than help it. Also that person's path doesn't need to be in the same space as the survivor! But they need to be *offered a path,* and whether they take that path is up to them.
The really bad eggs likely won't take that path, but ensuring a clear path is outlined helps prevent the middling bad actors from being lost to the right wing cult.
Did I convey that difference effectively? I may also have misread the context of what you're aiming to communicate.
Absolutely! A path should be outlined, just as long as the response isn’t hijacked by bystanders and enablers.
@akareilly @williampietri Yes! This!