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  • healynhealyn@normal.style
    Oct 11, 2026, 3:06 AM

    The easiest way to tell the difference between real Catholics and Catholic "converts" is simple; real Catholics are always ashamed of their bodies, no matter how much work they put in at the gym

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Replies

  • healynhealyn@normal.style
    Oct 11, 2026, 3:08 AM

    We understand the concept of "shame"

    Fuck JD Vance

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  • healynhealyn@normal.style
    Oct 11, 2026, 3:18 AM

    US Catholicism is about learning shame as a child. You memorize some prayers, go through the motions, get through Communion and Confirmation, then you're free to be agnostic or atheist or whatever.

    Then you go to Christmas and Easter mass because you get to listen to some good music, shake hands with some folks, and eat a disgusting bread wafer that dissolves in your mouth

    white supremacist catholic convert freaks will never understand this

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  • healynhealyn@normal.style
    Oct 11, 2026, 3:46 AM

    the one throughline of the New Testament is Jesus fucking despises guys like JD Vance

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  • healynhealyn@normal.style
    Oct 11, 2026, 4:57 AM

    In all seriousness, I'm sick of these jerkoffs trying to add their fanfic to the New Testament

    You wanna go there? You wanna add the Gospel of Thomas?

    Nah, you don't wanna do that because you gotta deal with a couple women as disciples

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  • Jason Lefkowitzjalefkowit@hachyderm.io
    Oct 11, 2026, 3:21 AM

    @healyn The main benefit to me of having one Catholic and one Jewish parent was getting to explore guilt from basically every possible angle

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  • AN/CRM-114flyingsaceur@ioc.exchange
    Oct 11, 2026, 4:39 AM

    @jalefkowit @healyn trying to max out my character’s guilt attribute with a Canadian Catholic mother and an American Jewish father for stacking multigenerational bonuses. Sorey!

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  • AN/CRM-114flyingsaceur@ioc.exchange
    Oct 11, 2026, 4:46 AM

    @healyn @jalefkowit See, the maternal grandfather is Anglican and the mother is Québécois and raised only speaking English but Catholic. So much guilt!

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  • healynhealyn@normal.style
    Oct 11, 2026, 4:50 AM

    @flyingsaceur @jalefkowit wow!

    the good news it's all the same Christian shit, every sect is just based on some horny king who wanted to feel ok about fucking outside his marriage

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  • AN/CRM-114flyingsaceur@ioc.exchange
    Oct 11, 2026, 4:56 AM

    @healyn @jalefkowit that’s why until the 1960s the big wedge issues for the RCC were divorce and transubstantiation, Humanae Vitae was Paul VI’s Southern Strategy

    Fun fact: there are no Anglicans in the US because George III, as head of the Church of England, required all colonial priests to swear a loyalty oath. So they all decided to become Episcopals instead

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  • healynhealyn@normal.style
    Oct 11, 2026, 5:01 AM

    @flyingsaceur @jalefkowit the transubstantiation thing has always been such a funny thing to negotiate (to me)

    I've been to Episcopalian masses. It's the same shit, but like 30 minutes longer than Catholic ones

    And I eat the wafer every time. Don't tell anyone

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  • AN/CRM-114flyingsaceur@ioc.exchange
    Oct 11, 2026, 5:07 AM

    @healyn @jalefkowit they tried to downplay all that with the rebranding in the 1970s, but Catholic theology is all about making up terms in Latin and shaming you into pretending you get it. When it’s really a stretch they fall back on “it’s a mystery”

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  • LouisaLouisa@mastodon.xyz
    Oct 11, 2026, 4:43 AM

    @healyn "I had a great day today. Now it's making me feel kinda bad, like did I deserve a great day?" —Catholics

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