My younger kid has realized that school is at least in part, a prison where kids are kept so parents can be farmed by capitalists, and that the grading, testing, major, and degree system serves to normalize and perpetuate hierarchies of importance among people. Also that many people have no interest in the knowledge and only care about the signifiers of status.
Send help.
None of this is wrong, but we still need to move forward in life and seek out beauty, knowledge, autonomy, truth, joy, music, cooperation... And I just dont know how to explain all of that to a 15 year old. most people really never even understand what hes already figured out. i literally said this about school in the parent group chat and one of the parents said something like "wow, I had never thought of that"
Holy shit y'all I'm bawling... A kid in his first period class went into a diabetic siezure and my kid restrained him from hurting himself, rolled him onto his side into a rescue position and stayed with him until the paramedics arrived.
@dlakelan "search your peers" is what I did. Or at least shared with them what we had in common and my own life when we didn't.
@mdione
Solid advice. Unfortunately Many of his peers have been driven out of his school by rumors they are going to close it, thanks PUSD school board...
Oct 13, 2026, 3:04 PM@dlakelan I told my kids that the goal was to survive the education system through high school. People who excelled at the bs requirements of parroting back info but not learning would get shaken out of the real world like chaff. And the creative ones, who deeply cared about learning, would excel at life.
Oct 13, 2026, 6:44 PM
@dlakelan like how I blew a coworker's mind when I said that the family "resort" we were doing some remodeling work at was basically a casino for kids
@kinsale42
Ouch. I bet that opened some eyes.
@dlakelan buckle up, it’s a rough ride, but worth it. You described my oldest. We agreed he was more or less right, but, it’s what is currently needed to get to whatever he might want as a meaningful life. We made it clear he could pick his path as long as he had a plan. Trade school, college, full time jobs were all on the table, but he had to go forward on his own. He finished high school, went to UA. First 2 years were a hot mess, now he seems to be on track as a film major. Hope it sticks.
@dlakelan I see you got lots of replies, so apologies if I'm repeating someone, but: books can be tremendously helpful for this. I saw someone said something like, "find your peers," and I think that's something writing can help with a lot. For example, what your kid discovered is something Foucault has analysed in depth in books, and that kind of camaraderie of thought across time and place can be very reassuring against a here and now that can make one feel alone.
(I don't think I actually recommend reading Foucault, but it's relevant classic.)
Smart kid.
@dlakelan Give her Zinn to read. Break on through to the other side.
Seriously. Let her see that (1) it's even worse than she thought, and it goes back to Columbus, and (2) that Red Pill alienation is a hoax, lots of other people have seen behind the curtain for centuries and have organized to fight back.
He's already a bit down that path. What he needs right now is more stabilization to get through the process that sets him free (graduate early at end of summer after taking a bunch of City College classes).
Even next semester he'll be in the independent study high school and taking almost everything at the community college, so it's largely about getting to January without getting too upset.
@dlakelan help for you (convincing him to stay in school?)? Or help for him (choosing next path?)?
@akamran
Help for him staying sane while he navigates the path we've got set up for him to graduate early and get freedom at city college.
@dlakelan I'm maybe telling on myself here (trained as a political scientist, even if I've never been employed as one) but I immediately thought of Antonio Gramsci and Vaclav Havel. They both used their time in prison to think deeply about their political systems - perhaps he could view this as extended field work, taking notes on what he observes. Not just the overall shape of the system, but the mechanics of it, and what he would do about it if he were ever to be in a policy making position.
@dlakelan he can run for the school board (even now depending on your local system's regulations) 👍🏽
Oct 13, 2026, 4:33 PM@dlakelan time to teach him about the Myth of Sisyphus and how Camus said we must imagine him happy. Then tell him Camus is an idiot.
@dlakelan hi Daniel, did you have twins at some point? I think I might have gotten one of yours
@ronanmcd
Congrats. One of the best things to have smart kids, but take care keeping them safe while they figure out this few years of highly difficult bit.
@dlakelan oh yeah, it's great to see their brains grow, but terrifying, and the worry is they will just clock out. He's the same age as your guy, but his older sibling was a breeze. Just did what the world asked of him, until college anyway, he's also just discovered life now. So I've ended up with two😄
@darwinwoodka @dlakelan solid rules
I suggest they pursue whatever interests them, reading, theatre, music, getting really good at math and science, or whatever floats their boat. School doesn't have to be a prison it can be a place to find other people who enjoy what you do. The outcasts who don't care about status are the lifetime friendships later on. The status seekers will fall to the wayside.
also get them an account here, plenty of cool people here to meet and play with!
@dlakelan 🤔 Well, that is true.
Oct 13, 2026, 5:17 PMGood job! He saved someone’s life. Tell him this internet rando is proud of him.
One of my oldest, dearest friends, the youngest of six in extraordinarily socially intelligent, put it very well. Schools are designed to be factories to turn out worker bees.
Multitasking!
@dlakelan Meet you at the barricades, kiddo comrade.
@dlakelan I remember hitting that realization around the start of high school.
My suggestion is to tell him that his perceptions are all true. The key to most situations in life, especially unpleasant ones, is to see what you can get out of them. Yes, the system may be unpleasant, but how can you make the most of it? Resources, friends, life lessons, skills? Find the perks, find the joy, even in a broken system.