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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 7:46 PM

    In the next day or so I need to force myself to read Yet Another Stupid Fucking Orbital Data Center filing, because I have to write a comment to the FCC so that it's on file that astronomers hate it.

    This one called "Stampede" from a company named Cowboy Space. I hate *everything* about this. I'm not even going to link to any news stories about them because they're all so horrible. A sun-synchronous terminator orbit is where satellite companies want Kessler Syndrome to start, apparently.

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Replies

  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:22 PM

    I have to read this fucking terrible FCC filing. As I've done before, I need to swear a lot to get through it.

    Document starts by setting up how "AI is so important!!" without actually defining AI, of course. Then noting that AI data centers are super polluting and uses a huge amounts of electricity. I suspect this is the one and only point I will agree with in this whole document.

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:24 PM

    Oh FUN, Cowboy Space was "founded in 2024 by Chief Executive Officer Baiju Bhatt, the billionaire co-founder and former co-CEO of the financial services platform Robinhood. Inspired by his father's work as a scientist at NASA’s Langley Research Center..."

    Dude, if your dad is an astronomer, he would be totally disappointed in you for destroying the sky and the atmosphere for this shit.

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:28 PM

    Nice, they specifically cite going to space as a way to bypass permits. The ultimate in greenwashing! We are outside the environment, so this is environmentally friendly! (As long as you ignore the mining, building, atmospheric pollution from launching, and burning everything up in the atmosphere in a few short years at the most).

    Oh gosh they are using NVIDIA's "Vera Rubin Module" which I wish Vera Rubin's family would sue them for naming it after her.

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:31 PM

    20,000 satellites in terminator sun-synchronous orbits between 700-1000km altitude. Exactly the same orbits as the other 3 companies that already filed for tens-hundreds of thousands of satellites! Kessler Syndrome, here we come

    They're also trying the trick where they say they'll use laser links instead of radio, so hey look! Nothing to regulate! (The FCC only has regulatory power because of radio broadcasts. While the FCC sucks, having NO regulation is far worse)

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:36 PM

    They've got a whole list of waivers. So that they can "better serve the public" of course! Not to weasel out of the only teeny tiny bits of regulation that exist.

    Don't make this poor company that proclaimed proudly that they are owned by a billionaire post a bond! That would be unfair! Also don't put any time limits on launch. Totally unfair!

    Also no rules on radio usage. They totally promise they won't abuse it!

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:38 PM

    Don't make them actually put all their satellites into the FCC's software system! That would be unfair!!

    Pro-tip: if you can't fit your satellites into the provided software, then you might have TOO FUCKING MANY SATELLITES. If I can simulate your satellites in python on my laptop, but you can't get them into the FCC's system, that sounds like your problem.

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:44 PM

    So... they claim in the first part of the Technical Annex that these 20,000 satellites in terminator sun-synchronous orbits between 700 and 1000km altitude have been chosen to "minimize overlap with large, proposed SSO constellations." But... these... are the exact same fucking orbits as 3 FCC filings I've had to read???

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:47 PM

    There's a bunch of details about the radio spectrum use that I don't know enough about to evaluate. From the other stuff I've read I can only assume there's a lot of bullshit being served up... But in charts! With teeny labels and default matplotlib colours! Good job, intern.

    Oh fantastic, they have TWO WHOLE SENTENCES about how they will talk to NSF to mitigate their impact on "radioastronomy" (I don't think I've typically seen it written as one word, but whatever)

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:51 PM

    Oh I was too hasty. They have TWO MORE WHOLE SENTENCES about how they will mitigate their impact on the astronomy community. I am very convinced by these incredibly vague, short, two sentences.

    Orbital debris! Here I expect the real bullshit to flow. Oh yeah, starting off with "We don't have a satellite design so we have no plan. We promise we'll have a plan someday!"

    Then a WHOLE TABLE of bullshit answers to FCC rules!! Let's go through the bullshit table, shall we?

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:56 PM

    "No debris will be intentionally released." Ok, that's a low fucking bar.

    There's a 1 in 100 probability of micrometeorites causing a release of debris. So... with 20,000 satellites, that's a lot of debris releasing events... Not reassured.

    Ludicrously vague statement about how their satellites will totally not explode, ever.

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:59 PM

    Even MORE absurdly vague statement about how they will totally not crash into any debris, ever. Someone want to tell them there are MILLIONS of pieces of untracked, lethal debris? And they want sending up tens of thousands of satellites with a huge cross section?

    WHY DO THEY THINK that putting probabilities down helps them?! They said less than a 1 in 1000 collision probability with large objects. Uhhhh did they just say they will have up to 20 catastrophic collisions???

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 10:03 PM

    I'm running out of steam. These are all fucking stupid.

    "Upon receipt of a space situational
    awareness conjunction warning, Cowboy
    Space will review and take all possible steps
    to assess the collision risk." They make it sound like an email. Everything happens at 7 km/s in orbit! I am not reassured in the least.

    OH GOODY all their satellites will be larger than 10cm in size. That's incredibly fucking helpful. Thanks.

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  • Prof. Sam Lawlersundogplanets@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 10:07 PM

    Once again, no info on reentries, other than they will either be controlled or uncontrolled. Fan-fucking-tastic. But hey, at least they didn't spew bullshit about ground casualty risks or atmospheric pollution from reentries. They just completely fucking ignored it!

    And that's the end of the document.

    Well, they've made it pretty fucking easy for me to write all the reasons why this is stupid and dangerous. YET AGAIN. I hate that I have to do this.

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  • Darcy Casselmanflyingsquirrel@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 7:54 PM

    @sundogplanets I don't envy you, but I'm curious... do they give any indication at all they understand how heat dissipation in space works? Or do they expect to put a chunk of metal in orbit in full sun containing its own giant radiant heater will magically cool itself because "space is cold"?

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  • AliAli@river.geek.nz
    Jun 15, 2026, 8:08 PM

    @sundogplanets Yee-haw🙄 I don't understand how engineers capable of building machines that can operate in space cannot see the danger of saturating LEO and if not them then their accountants seeing the risk to their business - it's either supreme arrogance, ignorance or greed (probably all 3 truth be told)

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  • Roger MooreVATVSLPR@c.im
    Jun 15, 2026, 8:55 PM

    @sundogplanets
    I just continue to be baffled that anyone is funding companies proposing orbiting data centers. They're just so obviously bad an idea, you'd think that anyone doing the tiniest bit of due diligence would never fund them. I guess they're proof that being rich doesn't make you smart.

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  • SecondUniverse (she/her/they)SecondUniverse@autistics.life
    Jun 15, 2026, 10:29 PM

    @sundogplanets I am starting to think Kessler Syndrome is a good thing. Let them launch all their fucking datacenters, and let them watch helplessly as their massive investment turns into a high speed snow globe.

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  • Roy -- the dull oneoldclumsy_nowmad@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 10:00 PM

    @sundogplanets

    All this greedy dimwit shuckin' and jivin' is just too much!

    And on top of all the fallacies, oversimplifications, and dishonesty, there's THE BIG ONE.

    Every military in the World wants to get their beachhead in Space, too. And they aren't going to tell anyone what all the orbits will be, which will be armed, which will be Doomsday designs, and what they plan for incident response.

    If we wanted to design The Calamity, we couldn't do it better.

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  • Q&A Anonqualitywins@mastodon.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:54 PM

    @sundogplanets a quite perverse side effect of these tons of satellites on the terminator line would allow satellite scatter ham radio connections. I know why I moved to this hobby, after doing hobby astronomy and telescope making for 20 years.

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  • (gobsmacked)nwchapman@sfba.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:46 PM

    @sundogplanets Get them! This whole thing is completely out of control. Cowboy capitalism with profound global risks and also wrecking one of the coolest things, astronomy.

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  • Otte Homan - remember Geordieotte_homan@theblower.au
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:41 PM

    @sundogplanets for a former "Chief Creative Officer", copying other crazies' "I just gotta build something with fucktonnes of sats" ideas is rather silly and uncreative.

    Space Police should start a sat builder kindergarten and anyone who hasn't graduated from there isn't allowed to shoot shit up into space. Call it the Kessler School of Sat Sanity, or something along that line.

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  • christian mockcm@chaos.social
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:31 PM

    @sundogplanets consider that not everybody is on good terms with their parents, so he might have been inspired by the idea of really upsetting his father.

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  • Jean-François Mezeijfmezei@cosocial.ca
    Jun 15, 2026, 9:54 PM

    @sundogplanets While it may be too late to ween ourselves from dependance on Starlink service (though surely, the constellation could be made less dense to reduce clutter), it is important to say "NO" to orbital data centres that are jsut quick cash from venture capitalists that will end up causing permenent data, especially f the military starts to rely on those and says NO to any plan to de-orbit. Preventing anyone from being dependnant on those is required to prevent permanent damage.

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