Login
You're viewing the social.telemetrydeck.com public feed.
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:21 PM

    I'm not trying to shill for Big Pharma here, but if you are someone for whom life feels like a constant psychic knife wound...consider finding a good psychiatrist, if you can (sadly, this is easier said than done), & find out if there is medication that can help you.

    There is no perfect solution. I am lucky to be best case scenario: I have never been put on a medication that gave me bad side effects, so I can't speak to that experience, but...they have the *potential* to change your life.

    💬 4🔄 1⭐ 0

Replies

  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:35 PM

    When I first started anti-depressants/mood stabilizers, I was in an abusive marriage that was making me suicidal.

    Did the meds take away the pain & misery of my situation? Not one bit. Did they give me a baseline of stability that helped me survive & eventually leave my abusive spouse? Oh, yes.

    💬 1🔄 1⭐ 3
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:35 PM

    They don't make you "happy," but I told my mom when I first started that in a way it felt like the first time I had actually experienced *sadness* in a long time, because some of the depression background noise finally quieted down & I could feel real, genuine sadness, & that helped me. I was able to experience & examine how my situation & relationships were affecting me negatively, because the fog of depression started to life.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:39 PM

    And now the stupid ADHD stimulants are improving my relationships, because I am able to focus when other people speak to me & can switch my attention from one thing to another when I need to.

    It almost sort of bothers me because I did start those with the intention of being able to accomplish the work of my life (both paid & not), but the biggest positive effect is that I can be present with people without putting enormous strain on myself to do so.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:45 PM

    But seriously, I had not experienced sadness, genuine deep sadness, for years at that point. I had forgotten what it felt like to be "only" sad.

    I think medication helped me more with finding the emotions people might consider "negative" like sadness & anger than with "positive" emotion. I was able to experience happiness even through much of my depression, but I couldn't FEEL the emotional pain & was therefore ignoring the signals that should have told me something was actually wrong.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:48 PM

    It should be assumed when I talk about my brother that there are years of experience behind my perspective on him & what he's going through that are not in my posts, & if you or someone you know superficially matches some of what I describe of him, it's still quite likely that there are a lot of behaviors & choices he makes that you may not.

    He seems to be seeking rock bottom at the moment, & it feels like he won't stop until he reaches it, no matter how many times we try to pull him up.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:52 PM

    Like...if he would fucking drink water every day, maybe I wouldn't be saying "dude, you NEED a medical intervention." But he won't drink water even when reminded. Apollo told him once when he was talking to him "just drink water & eat some potato chips. You'll feel better" & Bro2 instead ordered some electrolyte powder off of Amazon & said he'd drink water when it arrived in the mail.

    You can literally lead this man to water, & he won't drink.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:54 PM

    I know that "you should exercise" can be absurdly difficult when depressed, even though it can have amazing effects. That's never worked for me, so I get why it's not necessarily very helpful advice, but I don't know what to do with a person who won't even drink water when someone reminds them they need it to live.

    💬 2🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:59 PM

    Pro tip: sodium is an electrolyte that can help you absorb water, hence why eating some potato chips in addition to drinking water can be a good idea when dehydrated. A little bit of something salty alongside your water can really help.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:10 PM

    I wish I could help this dude. I wish he would try *anything at all* to get better. He is beyond helping as far as the family is concerned, not even because we are "tired of helping" but because there is nothing that anyone can do to get him to work on himself or even care for himself.

    If anything we have been doing was really offering lasting results, that would be one thing, but it's pretty clear he's going to wake up screaming every day until HE does something about it.

    💬 2🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:20 PM

    Who wants to give up on a guy who wakes up screaming every day? Who wants to just "leave them to their own devices"? Who wants to just stop "helping" someone who constantly asks whether they should "keep going" with life?

    It's terrifying, but I can't help but feel that we may actually be delaying his recovery at this point because as long as we are available to him, he can continue to externalize all his needs.

    He's hinting at wanting to kind of lose touch or drift away from the family anyway.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:20 PM

    The ONLY reason he is connected to us is because WE make that happen.

    We would not have to "cut him off". All we would have to do is stop putting in the extra effort on our end.

    He doesn't do relationship maintenance. He doesn't invest in other people. It's a one-way street.

    He wants the "help" & complains when it isn't immediately forthcoming, but he doesn't want to do the work it takes to nurture relationships with the people from whom he expects that "help".

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:30 PM

    As I have been chronicling here for the past week, it seems he's about to just stop being in his daughter's life. She has *very lightly* pushed him away due to his lack of involvement & some incidents of broken trust, & he seems to want to just accept that she doesn't want to talk to him & leave it there.

    It's the first time she's testing (as children sometimes do) whether he will persist in loving & caring for her, & he won't even try to clear the hurdle.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:30 PM

    So, when the family stops providing the extra level of support we have been giving him because we want to help him be able to be a father to his daughter, he's going to decide that our love was "transactional" & that we never really cared.

    I can already feel my family shifting towards just directly giving energy to my 10 year old niece who needs love because her dad is being a flake. It sounds like she's going to be living with her mom full time, so he's not our line of connection anymore.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:36 PM

    As far as the daughter thing goes it's like "I don't know what to say, dude. You're choosing not to take your ONE responsibility in life seriously, & that ONE responsibility is a child you CHOSE to have. If you abandon her—a child whom we love—yeah, you might find there actually are conditions for relationships with other adults & in this case one of them is STOP HURTING YOUR CHILD."

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:45 PM

    I told Niece's mom that ideally I would LIKE for my brother to stay in Niece's life, but it's starting to look like the child would be better off without his eighth-hearted effort (HALF-hearted is way too much).

    She doesn't need to chase the love of a man who won't show up for her. He's going to keep wounding her over & over.

    That's pretty much where Niece's mom is at, even though she has worked hard to not alienate Niece from her dad.

    How fucking tragic. How absolutely fucking tragic.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:50 PM

    He is going to lose his shit when he finds out that his family does not actually have a tolerance for him ABANDONING his child.

    I mean, look at the self-centered logic: he wants HIS family, including his parents, to continuously show up for him, no matter what, but HE can't even TRY to repair anything with his daughter?

    If it's about what family should do for each other, then he should hurry up & start acting like family to his daughter.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:55 PM

    The reason he is still in our lives now is that we love him to the point that we have been willing to keep trying & we don't like the thought of him suffering.

    He needs to get some perspective & realize that is NOT the love he gives to HIS daughter.

    Lil Sis says it breaks her heart because our dad is her go-to whenever she needs help. No matter what it is, the first step is "I'll call Dad", but Niece doesn't have a dad who is just there for her like that. Not even close.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 3:01 PM

    Lil Sis also pointed out that if he needs help being a dad—if he actually wanted someone to help him figure it out—he has both a dad AND an older brother with a ton of experience under their belts.

    If he was just lost in the fog of child-rearing, he literally has other men in the family who could tell him some things about kids. But he already knows that the first thing they would tell him is that he needs to invest in her more & take responsibility for developing his relationship with her.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 3:05 PM

    God damn men who have children that they expect women to raise without their effort.

    Seriously, they can go to hell.

    Lil Sis says that whenever he visits home, he simply leaves our mom & SIL to take care of her & doesn't even seem to recognize that he's handing them work to do. He doesn't think childcare is work when women do it. Only when he does it.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 3:12 PM

    The part that drives me crazy is that, for all the stupid misogynistic bullshit in the stupid church culture around us, our dad was NEVER a half-hearted dad. He'd get home from work & was immediately helping my mom with us kids, which continued until bedtime.

    I do not remember a time in our lives where our dad in any way suggested that raising kids was "women's work". Mom was a SAHM, so she was the primary caregiver, but if Dad was present, Dad was being a father.

    💬 2🔄 0⭐ 0
  • 💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Pteryx the Puzzle Secretarypteryx@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 1:31 PM

    @artemis
    One doesn't have to be corporate to see psychology/psychiatry/other such things as *part* of "the system", designed to try to force you to fit in. That's how every person and institution in power treats it, and such people cooperate with power — even to the point of tormenting children a power group *should* have no more say over the lives of, IME. I've even seen it from positions of power as low as a GM.

    I'm sorry, but I simply *cannot* trust the master's tools. Too much trauma.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • The Sleight Doctor 🃏🍉ApostateEnglishman@mastodon.world
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:25 PM

    @artemis Solidarity from afar. We too have a friend we cannot help until she herself admits she has a problem. We've told her we'll always be there for her. But having worked in various support services most of my adult life, I know all too well that some people are beyond help until they actively seek it for themselves.

    Soul-destroying as it may be to watch a loved one self-destruct, sometimes we have to emotionally detach ourselves or they'll only drag us down with them.

    It's a tough lesson.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • wing_of_eternitywing_of_eternity@social.stealthy.club
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:07 PM

    @artemis That's a thorny situation. Never heard that before. I wonder if I am depressed given that I am not managing to enjoy anything to the degree I used to? But I think I kind of am. Even if my Family wouldn't believe it, at least they did get me to a psychiatrist, but my issues are more or less with fog, (brain fog, which is very prominent).

    I no longer feel my own thought processes when they occur, not as I used to, I don't feel emotions very well either.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 13, 2026, 2:12 PM

    @wing_of_eternity
    Yeah, that could potentially be depression. A big sign is often emotional numbness. It's not only hard to feel happy...it just gets hard to feel.

    It might not be that, but it could be worth exploring the possibility.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • PJvMpjvm@clttr.it
    Oct 14, 2026, 11:51 AM

    @artemis They also have the *potential* to wreck it.

    I acknowledge that they have been very helpful for you and I don't want to come across as hostile, but it does need to be said that there are good reasons to stay the hell away from psychiatry and from drugs that mess with neurotransmitters.
    To briefly explain the latter: the danger is that over time, you brain may adapt to the altered neurotransmitter levels. If that happens, the consequences are that 1) the effects of the drugs will seem to decrease as your brain moves back towards its old way of functioning 2) if you stop taking the drugs, your brain has now reconfigured itself, so expect withdrawal symptoms. Those withdrawal symptoms can be extreme.

    I also just cannot stand the narrative of the depressed person who stubbornly refuses to seek professional help. I was someone who "refused to seek help" because I did not see the standard offer of pills and/or cognitive fucking behavioural therapy* as acceptable. And I'm glad I did not "seek help" when that was the only help I would've been able to get, because (speaking strictly about myself) I do not believe I would have been helped by that. I think it's important nobody feel pressured into accepting 'help' which they don't believe *will* help.

    * I think I should clarify: I'm talking specifically about CBT for depression. I acknowledge that CBT can work very well for certain problems, among which OCD, panic attacks... For depression though, CBT generally does next to nothing.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 14, 2026, 12:13 PM

    @pjvm
    >I also just cannot stand the narrative of the depressed person who stubbornly refuses to seek professional help. I was someone who "refused to seek help" because I did not see the standard offer of pills and/or cognitive fucking behavioural therapy* as acceptable.

    Ok, well right there we are talking about a situation that is different than my brother's.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 14, 2026, 12:13 PM

    @pjvm
    If he wanted to do therapy, he would have options other than CBT (I would not recommend CBT to a depressed person either).

    Many different kinds of offers have been made to him to try to help him make all kinds of different changes in all different areas of his life.

    He's chosen to isolate himself living in a bus in the fucking Ozarks. No, it's not all he can afford.

    He also has a daughter that he needs to figure out how to care for.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 14, 2026, 12:13 PM

    @pjvm
    If you read the thread, he's not just "depressed". He is actively self-destructive & has been for 15 years.

    I'm not talking about a generic person who refuses to "seek help". I'm talking about someone who literally (& I do mean literally) won't drink water when someone tells him that the first step to getting better would be to drink a glass of water.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 14, 2026, 12:16 PM

    @pjvm
    I don't care if he chooses the psychiatric drug route or not, but there is nothing anyone can do for him if he won't do some things for himself. I would suggest he tries medication, because medication is often the factor that allows people to start making other changes in their lives.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • PJvMpjvm@clttr.it
    Oct 16, 2026, 3:41 PM

    @artemis To be clear, I did read the thread. It's mostly about your brother specifically, but you also talk about depressed people in general. The specific post I was reacting to is one where you give broader advice.
    I felt the need to point out that this narrative exists and is culturally pervasive, because I think many people are reading your thread through that lens. I saw the narrative clearly reflected in a number of replies people made to your thread. I also felt the need to point out that the risks of the drugs themselves go beyond side effects, and that people also need to consider the risks of engaging with the psychiatric system.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • PJvMpjvm@clttr.it
    Oct 17, 2026, 9:43 AM

    @artemis (tell me if I'm beating a dead horse here)

    I now realise that when I wrote:
    > I think it's important nobody feel pressured into accepting 'help' which they don't believe *will* help.
    ... this could easily be interpreted as being about how you should handle your brother. That's not how I meant it.

    I was concerned that readers of the thread might feel pressured in this way, in particular by replies that boiled down to "yeah, if you think antidepressants won't help you, that's just your stupid depression brain being pessimistic" (which I recognise is an exaggeration, but this is how some replies came across to me).

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 17, 2026, 11:08 AM

    @pjvm
    It's fair enough to respond with an alternative perspective, & I'm glad your reply is there... I did not intend to send a message of pressuring people into trying something they may be uncomfortable with or which may not be a healthy option for them.

    We also come from different contexts: in my former religious community, taking meds for mental health was basically forbidden, so from my perspective, people often are pressured very hard not to even *consider* medication as an option.

    💬 1🔄 0⭐ 0
  • Artemisartemis@dice.camp
    Oct 17, 2026, 11:08 AM

    @pjvm
    It sounds like you've experienced pressure in the other direction which is true for many people, but personally I'm still REALLY mad that I was extremely depressed & emotionally unstable as a young adult & all anyone would tell me is that I should pray, read the Bible, take some fish oil & Vitamin B, & try to exercise.

    I didn't mean to come off as pressuring anyone, but I do try to emphasize to people that they should consider all their options.

    💬 0🔄 0⭐ 0