Oct 14, 2026, 12:13 PM@pjvm
>I also just cannot stand the narrative of the depressed person who stubbornly refuses to seek professional help. I was someone who "refused to seek help" because I did not see the standard offer of pills and/or cognitive fucking behavioural therapy* as acceptable.
Ok, well right there we are talking about a situation that is different than my brother's.
Oct 14, 2026, 12:13 PM@pjvm
If he wanted to do therapy, he would have options other than CBT (I would not recommend CBT to a depressed person either).
Many different kinds of offers have been made to him to try to help him make all kinds of different changes in all different areas of his life.
He's chosen to isolate himself living in a bus in the fucking Ozarks. No, it's not all he can afford.
He also has a daughter that he needs to figure out how to care for.
Oct 14, 2026, 12:13 PM@pjvm
If you read the thread, he's not just "depressed". He is actively self-destructive & has been for 15 years.
I'm not talking about a generic person who refuses to "seek help". I'm talking about someone who literally (& I do mean literally) won't drink water when someone tells him that the first step to getting better would be to drink a glass of water.
Oct 14, 2026, 12:16 PM@pjvm
I don't care if he chooses the psychiatric drug route or not, but there is nothing anyone can do for him if he won't do some things for himself. I would suggest he tries medication, because medication is often the factor that allows people to start making other changes in their lives.
Oct 16, 2026, 3:41 PM@artemis To be clear, I did read the thread. It's mostly about your brother specifically, but you also talk about depressed people in general. The specific post I was reacting to is one where you give broader advice.
I felt the need to point out that this narrative exists and is culturally pervasive, because I think many people are reading your thread through that lens. I saw the narrative clearly reflected in a number of replies people made to your thread. I also felt the need to point out that the risks of the drugs themselves go beyond side effects, and that people also need to consider the risks of engaging with the psychiatric system.
Oct 17, 2026, 9:43 AM@artemis (tell me if I'm beating a dead horse here)
I now realise that when I wrote:
> I think it's important nobody feel pressured into accepting 'help' which they don't believe *will* help.
... this could easily be interpreted as being about how you should handle your brother. That's not how I meant it.
I was concerned that readers of the thread might feel pressured in this way, in particular by replies that boiled down to "yeah, if you think antidepressants won't help you, that's just your stupid depression brain being pessimistic" (which I recognise is an exaggeration, but this is how some replies came across to me).
Oct 17, 2026, 11:08 AM@pjvm
It's fair enough to respond with an alternative perspective, & I'm glad your reply is there... I did not intend to send a message of pressuring people into trying something they may be uncomfortable with or which may not be a healthy option for them.
We also come from different contexts: in my former religious community, taking meds for mental health was basically forbidden, so from my perspective, people often are pressured very hard not to even *consider* medication as an option.
Oct 17, 2026, 11:08 AM@pjvm
It sounds like you've experienced pressure in the other direction which is true for many people, but personally I'm still REALLY mad that I was extremely depressed & emotionally unstable as a young adult & all anyone would tell me is that I should pray, read the Bible, take some fish oil & Vitamin B, & try to exercise.
I didn't mean to come off as pressuring anyone, but I do try to emphasize to people that they should consider all their options.