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  • ·J Moppjmopp@masto.ai
    Jul 31, 2026, 7:19 PM

    Do you know what story I would like told? What it's like to make friends in your thirties. Everyone you've grown up and gone to school with had a different life trajectory to you. Friendship by proximity no longer works; you have to be intentional about your friends. You do a wide range of activities with different people because nobody shares your exact set of interests. Crucially, there is no main character. The focus shifts between people, at how they interact and at how they are when alone

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  • ·J Moppjmopp@masto.ai
    Jul 31, 2026, 7:25 PM

    @Quasit I can imagine! I'm still playing it on easy mode comparatively

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  • QuasitQuasit@beige.party
    Jul 31, 2026, 7:27 PM

    @jmopp

    The only way I've found that works are social hobbies. In my case, tabletop RPGs.

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  • ·J Moppjmopp@masto.ai
    Jul 31, 2026, 7:35 PM

    @Quasit Yep, social hobbies are excellent for that. My current main social hobby is touch rugby, because I need to keep my body in shape. I go to a lot of music by myself primarily because I like going to music, and whenever my friend who lives close by wants to do a random activity, I always join him, primarily because I love doing random activities myself and it's great to have someone to do them with

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  • Jeff Miller (orange hatband)jmeowmeow@hachyderm.io
    Aug 3, 2026, 2:02 PM

    @jmopp l have a friend who makes sure I don't miss out on interesting talks or gatherings on topics we both like. Not exactly "random activities" but some of that works into before and after.

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  • Petra van CronenburgNatureMC@mastodon.online
    Aug 2, 2026, 5:47 PM

    @jmopp In my 30s, I began living in a very different country for work. First, it was hard to make new friends because I had to learn the language, but then new people opened a new world for me.
    I think in my time, it was easier to make new friends because we had lots of Third Places where you could get easily in contact.
    During my life, I had to learn that friends change. Illness, work, moving ... so much can interrupt a friendship.
    Now, in my 60s, I volunteer and so found new friends.

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  • Hobohobo_ahoi@mastodon.social
    Aug 2, 2026, 8:34 PM

    @jmopp I found a lot of new social contacts via volunteer/charity work, especially in the field of Linux/FOSS and upcycling old notebooks with Linux for people in need.

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  • Ellieellie@ellieayla.net
    Aug 2, 2026, 10:07 PM

    @jmopp oh, I asked my therapist to tell me this story!

    She kinda snorted and stared wistfully out the window. :(

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  • Jeff Miller (orange hatband)jmeowmeow@hachyderm.io
    Aug 3, 2026, 1:01 AM

    @jmopp The story I had prepared for myself was first "join a co-op household" and then "go to cooking and crafting classes. Or maybe book clubs. Or the pagans and Ren Faire types I knew in grad school."

    The story that happened: I met someone and married into a big overlapping set of circles of friends.

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  • Deborah Preuss, pcc 🇨🇦deborahh@cosocial.ca
    Aug 3, 2026, 1:08 PM

    @jmeowmeow @jmopp when I moved (at 50 years old) and wanted to meet people, I tried various art classes but found them very silent, and I was very focused on my own art process. I met no one that way.

    Now, after hqving moved again, I'm still wondering where to find "my" people. 🤷‍♀️

    It's even harder for me as a mask-wearer: networking events where people eat or drink together are off my list, because I don't want to take my mask off.

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