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  • Bomkattbomkatt@ohai.social
    Jul 6, 2026, 12:18 AM

    "Gray told men that even though they may be bored and irritated when their wives want to speak to them, it is men's duty to listen and pretend to be interested because women naturally thrive on communication and connection. Gray told women that even though they resent their husbands for being adults who could not clean up after themselves without being reminded, they must still lovingly remind husbands to do their chores...& express gratitude when they do, because men thrive on affirmation."

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Replies

  • Bomkattbomkatt@ohai.social
    Jul 6, 2026, 12:22 AM

    The idea that you are completely bored during most conversations with your partner is just appalling.

    I get that my partner doesn't want a play-by-play of my knitting projects. I don't want to hear a recap of every single rec league soccer game. But that's why we talk about these things to other people who have those same hobbies.

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  • Bomkattbomkatt@ohai.social
    Jul 6, 2026, 12:29 AM

    "In the late twentieth century, readers consumed the idea that the job duties associated with being a successful wife still included a significant amount of performativity and husband-centered emotional labor, a kind of "intensive wifing" that mirrored the intensive mothering and child-centeredness popular during the same period."

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  • Bomkattbomkatt@ohai.social
    Jul 6, 2026, 12:42 AM

    The book is now talking about the ways these narratives reduced men to one-dimensional beings without complex emotions, history and needs.

    That needs to be said, too, and often.

    It shifted the man in a relationship into a figure of contempt, which isn't helpful.

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  • Deep Muddeepmud@mas.to
    Jul 6, 2026, 12:47 AM

    @bomkatt yup. None of this stuff is good for anybody. Don't ask me who cooked it up but they really do deserve a good spanking

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  • WTLWTL@mastodon.social
    Jul 6, 2026, 12:50 AM

    @bomkatt Agreed; if you are that bored … maybe you shouldn't have that person as your partner?

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  • Bomkattbomkatt@ohai.social
    Jul 6, 2026, 1:06 AM

    @WTL because she has "trapped" you by previously being younger/hotter/more interesting/something.

    I guess? This book is making me feel very pro-divorce

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