Annnd i just messaged someone about the upcoming hackaTHONG

@alan @webhat One of the features I'd love to see in @ivory (and honestly the Mastodon interface too) is the ability to mute posts containing more than X hashtags.

The book is now talking about the ways these narratives reduced men to one-dimensional beings without complex emotions, history and needs.

That needs to be said, too, and often.

It shifted the man in a relationship into a figure of contempt, which isn't helpful.

"In the late twentieth century, readers consumed the idea that the job duties associated with being a successful wife still included a significant amount of performativity and husband-centered emotional labor, a kind of "intensive wifing" that mirrored the intensive mothering and child-centeredness popular during the same period."

The idea that you are completely bored during most conversations with your partner is just appalling.

I get that my partner doesn't want a play-by-play of my knitting projects. I don't want to hear a recap of every single rec league soccer game. But that's why we talk about these things to other people who have those same hobbies.

"Gray told men that even though they may be bored and irritated when their wives want to speak to them, it is men's duty to listen and pretend to be interested because women naturally thrive on communication and connection. Gray told women that even though they resent their husbands for being adults who could not clean up after themselves without being reminded, they must still lovingly remind husbands to do their chores...& express gratitude when they do, because men thrive on affirmation."

"Straight culture was also marked by men's fragility and irritation, their pervasive sense of burden, loss, and entrapment. Men were encouraged to fantasize about freedom from emotional intimacy with women or to dream of a life characterized by diminished heterosexual demands (i.e., bachelorhood) and expanded homosocial bonds (the company of men)."

Men, resent the women in your life for existing!

Every hobby starts with curiosity and ends with storage problems.

"Across time and place, most forms of heterosexual coupling have been organized around men's ownership of women (their bodies, their work, their children) rather than their attraction to, or interest in, women. Women were men's property, slaves, and laborers, and women produced heirs to whom men could pass on their lineage and possessions."

The book is talking about the shift from Marriage-as-a-Contract to Marriage-for-Romantic-Love in the late 19th/early 20th century.

This does skew to the experience of people with assets and power. I'm less sure about others

My friend has actual vultures in her yard after something drug in a dead animal overnight.

I actually caught myself plotting to acquire some roadkill and acquire some visitors.

Fortunately, i snapped out of that thought pretty quickly.

Still! Vultures!

PS- This comment is about heterosexual culture, not individual men. I do have the honor of knowing lots of good men, but we're all swimming in a pretty toxic sea

"One of the core dysfunctions of straight culture-and a centerpiece of my analysis—is the misogyny paradox, wherein boys' and men's desire for girls and women is expressed within a broader culture that encourages them to also hate girls and women"

- Jane Ward

And did i manage to use a fucking safety line?

No, i did not! I couldn't manage to thread said safety line properly through the safety line holder in the needle.

I can sew through stitches i know aren't fucked and frog back to there, but this pattern!!!

I am starting to get superstitious about this pattern, which is not that complex.

I kept having issues with my yarn. Then purling knits repeatedly. Just now, my circular needles detached from the cord as i was trying to figure out if i had somehow made an extra stitch. Dropped stitches galore.

I mostly picked things back up i think.

I have been to button paradise and after just under 6 months the secret test knit is FINISHED. (Alas still secret so have a button paradise pic instead!)

Now to choose among the 19372 projects I promised myself I’d be allowed to start once the test knit was done 😅

Mentally, i know that tossing a ten-year-old pair of gym pants that are too worn through in the thighs to give to anyone is not what's destroying the planet.

Nor is buying a replacement pair i'll wear for another decade from a reputable small business.

I stress about it anyway.

I hate how the powers that are make this a "personal accountability" issue

It's NICE to be back to a regular schedule that allows for regularly scheduled blog posts.

https://bomkatt.wordpress.com/2026/07/05/5-july-back-to-it/

Here's my knitting in progress, with the purls and knits mostly as they're meant to be