RE: https://mstdn.social/@happinessbot/117447494822100467
This is interesting. Assuming a representative sample (ignoring that this is a big, probably false assumption), are we seeing a cognitive bias where most people think other people are happier than they are? Or are we seeing evidence that people on the fediverse are more miserable than everyone else?
@guyjantic Good question. The data for past questions is accessible, if I remember correctly. Might be something for a group of psychologists and a few statisticians to dive in to.
Note: The questions are frequently, but not always, the same. Sometimes it's "How happy do you feel *right now*
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Personally for this specific question: I think it's indicative of the state of mind of people on Fedi.
I frequently select "They are probably happier" because I'm often interacting with people who have moved to France on retirement and are quite comfortable in their lives. I...<ahem>...am not.
Sometimes though, my last interaction is someone who's on Fedi, who I don't know all that well, but the face that I see is generally positive.
Sometimes I interact with someone who is just having the shittiest of days, and I can honestly answer that I'm probably happier.
Any way you slice it, it's my opinion based on what other people put out into the world. A *lot* of people might interact with me regularly and think that I'm happy...I tend to mask well. They may answer the question thinking that I'm happier, simply because I wasn't complaining about my life during the course of that five minute conversation.
@roknrol If it helps at all, I figured out you're frequently not totally happy :/
Same here. I have many happy things in my life, but enough big unhappy ones that I'm frequently pretty blue.
@guyjantic I have tried really hard to not mask on Fedi...I'm no different from a lot of the other folks here. It's a 'safe space'.
In real life? There are quite a few people in my circle that know that I struggle with depression, mainly because I've told them. But they don't *see* it, if that makes sense.
@roknrol I think it makes sense. In my life I have people I can be myself around--okay, three people--but I don't have a big social circle and I ended up in a professional/academic space that might best be described as a gossipy, conformity-obsessed bucket of crabs. Okay, I guess that sounds pretty harsh.
Honestly, one of the things that has made me happier recently is discovering burns. That is, burning man type events. Local ones. Sometimes they're called regional burns. I am closer to being myself there than in any group of people elsewhere. Sadly, even in a good year I only get to two or three. The gaps between them are very long.
And I live somewhere with cold and somewhat (not terribly, but enough) gloomy winters, which affects me much more than I wish it did. But I have a daughter who brings me equal amounts happiness and sadness (but large meta-happiness), a partner I somehow miraculously met, and a good friend two hours away. Most days that's enough. A few years ago I didn't have most of this, and I also had a very confusing marriage that caused me more misery than I can sometimes believe right now. It was fucking rough. I didn't do anything to deserve the three amazing people in my life right now, and I don't know exactly how I got here. I don't know very well how to share happiness, either, but I'm trying to figure that out.
@guyjantic I understand a lot of this. Experienced some of it in the past and am hoping to find something like it in the future.
I definitely need to get out more. I've met pretty much all of the people that I'm likely to meet in the village already...need to branch out a bit.
I'm fortunate that the seasonal stuff doesn't really seem to impact me very much.
@roknrol Your posts, when I see them, always interest and/or affect me. I am pulling for you, even though I don't always know the circumstances or what you're pulling for yourself.
@guyjantic Thank you. I see you and I appreciate you.
I tend to talk a lot about it, so the gaps will fill in over time. Also, I'm pretty open about things so if you have a question, I'll more than likely answer it (even if it's just via DM)
@roknrol I probably do have questions, mostly about the motivation and circumstances for moving to France (I think?), but I got the broad strokes and can ask the rest when I'm more awake.
@guyjantic Fair enough!
@roknrol I promised myself I'd try to record music before I crashed completely for the night but I got sucked into some mastodon and rewatching Firefly so I only have an hour or so left. Procrastination again :)
@guyjantic A fairly constant companion for myself as well, I'm afraid.