I haven't been able to bake for three weeks from this location because of the tension and weirdness, so I'm beginning to fall behind in my ability to move forward. Any assistance you can give will greatly multiply my efforts.
Venmo and PayPal open
Three Good things
1- one of our truth telling matriarchs knows the importance of good health and checkups as we get older, so she gave us the gift of a check up with full blood panel and tests. While I've had enough money to pay my bills, this type of expense wasn't in my reach, so this gift means so much, especially right now.
2- two doctors gave us both a clean bill of health! Praise our blood! Praise to the twice daily running!
3- living in Thailand can be challenging, but it offers me cheaper prices and better produce than America.
Still haven't found a new home yet, though we're looking and showing up. We did see progress on the green Mazda truck, should be ready for us pretty soon. I'm feeling pretty exhausted from the home environment, and looking forward to getting into a new place that can hold my samadhi with me. Struggling to work and bake from a place of chaos with turbulent people standing in the doorway with demands I cannot satisfy. But I know there is progress even in this, while I do feel enormously triggered, I am getting back to my peace quicker and quicker.
Yesterday we got a call that a foreign woman was looking for a caregiver. We showed up and listened and very quickly understood that this was not something for us. Yes, I can feel empathy for her and the situation her husband is in. No, I will not be moving into yet another caregiving position, especially for only 300 baht a night. To take it we would have had to completely change our sleep, work and baking schedules. It felt very good to say NO, this won't work for us, good luck! Ten years ago I might have said yes. Not today!
I'm fixin' to mix
I'm aching to bake
But rains a pouring
And water are arising...
I miss baking. I've got backlogged orders but there are also flood waters coming, 2 meters rise in the last 2 days behind our house. And there are 4 days of intense rains projected. The way water is managed during monsoon season is with stopgates down the river and klong systems, the water from rains is held and diverted to avoid all at once releases. But it releases from north to central where the sea of Thailand begins. I live in a river plein in Central thailand touched by a klong. People here have protocols for living within flooded homes, on the second floor or the whole house is on legs lifting it above the flood zone. But in this current home, on top and above the dysfunction I'm so ready to move forward from, there is NO room on the second floor for us.
We have to find a new house ASAP as the waters will continue to rise in the next 2 weeks and beyond. We are looking for homes everyday, but have found none that I can bake from so far. But my brain is already mentally tetris packing all of my plants and items into the back of the almost ready truck. It's all almost here. But not here yet.
If we do need to evacuate before a place comes open, we may need to stay in hotels. Any support you can give? Venmo and PayPal available to receive, we need a financial buoy in this distress.
The waters have raised again, please understand that this is not clean water and that when the waters rise all of the fauna that exists on the waters edge is now also at the doorsteps. The water rising is filled with tadpoles, algae, even fish swimming up the gutters. Snakes and frogs have arrived to eat the thousands of bugs that have now descended into the bathroom and kitchen. Garbage and decay are also in this water.
The people that have lived here for a lifetime see no problem with any of this, it's just what happens every year at this time, every 3-4 years this house has its first floor entirely engulfed in the water for up to 6 months after the original waters rise. They have their protocols of moving important things upstairs and leaving the rest to be thrown away after the flood waters recede. They have their protocols for taking a boat to where they park their cars. They have government funding to lightly support the inconvenience of having their home half flooded.
But this is not normal for me and adding to the extremely tense financial abuse that's occurred, I can no longer stay here. Period. We've got one nights sleep before the waters reach the bathroom and kitchen. Two nights sleep before the first floor is over taken-- each day we are alerted as to how much water will be released above us, this morning's release came at 5 am. I don't want to be involved in the last minute packing of things upstairs, strangers moving items without concern of who those items belong to.
The next house is not ready yet, they are fixing the kitchen and it appears to be bakable, but it's just not ready yet. Our truck is almost ready for us, but we are waiting on the mechanic/owner before it becomes ours. And while I do not wish to be living out of a hotel again, it may be our only option until everything else clears.
I'm restlessly exhausted. Packed and ready to leave. $15 will get us a night in a hotel. Every little bit will help more than I can convey here. Please help me get out of this mess and on to a drier path with more possibility for my businesses and plants to grow.
Venmo : Jenica-Lake
Paypal: DM for handle
#MutualAid #fedihelp #superElNino #climate_change #thailand #flooding
Flood water rising and being pumped from klong to the smaller river close to us. The water has risen 3 meters in 24 hours. It’s still raining and water from the north is being perpetually pumped south. Bangkok is declared a state of emergency, but north of Bangkok has even more standing water.
#SuperElNino #thailand #flooding
Like this, but out of the big city...
In conversations over the past few days a few things have struck me as true.
1- my British auntie here, one of the most negative friends I have in Thailand, told me that I’m being too negative 🙀 That I must simply put the fear and the guilt around leaving into a little box and move forward.
2- my husband reminding me that nervousness can be a sign of excitement, rather than fear.
3- telling stories of living in the SNOW to our friends that have never experienced it. My friend Koi is curling her toes in absolute delight, her eyes filled with wonder as we regale the plights of waking to a meter of snow at a time. Snow cannot be stopped, it will add an extra hour of exercise to your day just to leave the house and it will effect your commute. Snow will effect your community, we check on our neighbors and shovel their path for them when they cannot. Snow is challenging. … flooding is challenging. It can come in the middle of the night and it will bring an extra hour or more of shuffling everything in the house around, flooding will affect your commute and your community, we will check on our relations and help them move their things to higher ground.
Can I transmute my fears of flooding happening in the night into a type of excitement the way I experience snow?
I may be too tired to care any more. I have enough money to get into the apartment and make a payment on the truck, but the apartment will not be available until October 15. If I bolt to a hotel, like my nervous system wants me to, I will not be able to afford to get into the apartment when it comes available. I’m here, in this house, for two more weeks if I cannot fundraise enough. I’m tired y’all. And my words just aren’t wording the way I need anymore. Thank you for the support, for reading and sitting with me in the uncertainty.