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  • Sherri Koehler (she/her)PDXyogini@toot.cat
    Jul 18, 2026, 5:33 AM

    Because of my own struggles with disordered eating (orthorexia), I was one of two people she was talking to about her ARFID diagnosis. She said she finally understood why I had set rigid boundaries around discussion of weight loss, dieting, and eating habits.

    Eating disorders aren’t restricted to cis, white, girls. Older adults, particularly those who experience menopause, are at an increased risk of developing an ED or relapsing. Eating disorders have one of the highest mortality rates of any mental illness.

    Even when someone is actively trying to recover, like my friend, the toll they exact on the body is very high.

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Replies

  • Sherri Koehler (she/her)PDXyogini@toot.cat
    Jul 18, 2026, 5:39 AM

    I’m at a loss, I don’t know what to do but wait for the emergency anxiety and nausea meds to take effect.

    I was just texting her pictures of Ursa. We texted every day. I have been hoping that some of the debilitating pain I experience wherever I sit still would be improved after this week’s procedure and I could manage the 50 minute drive up to her home.

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  • Sherri Koehler (she/her)PDXyogini@toot.cat
    Jul 18, 2026, 6:05 AM

    I’m so fucking angry at so many systems and people right now.

    And I still miss my grumpy, irritating, bossy dog. He was down for support when I cried, even before he lost his hearing.

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  • Sherri Koehler (she/her)PDXyogini@toot.cat
    Jul 18, 2026, 9:58 PM

    Still can’t believe my friend is gone. I can’t stop crying.

    I had two hour interruption earlier, talking to art friends. While the distraction helped, sitting at my desk brought back the ache, and the wall of fatigue is back.

    I think a smoothie is in order, it feels easier in several ways.

    There’s a group chat of people trying to remember all the people who need to know. What’s wonderful is to see gore quickly one of us jumps in to say someone was already informed or we jump to do the informing.

    I was able to set off another wave of informing by reaching out to someone who’s now an adult. My friend was his nanny when we all did historical reenactment together (SCA) and he got ahold of his Dad, who is now calling other people I’ve not seen since my 20s!

    My friend was a person who made a light of herself, regardless of the absolute shit life dealt her.

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  • Sherri Koehler (she/her)PDXyogini@toot.cat
    Jul 18, 2026, 10:33 PM

    Damnit.

    This friend has been my accountability buddy so I make sure to eat at least somewhat regularly. This is part of the texting between us daily. She would send me the meals her partners were making to safely get nutrients into her as fast as possible. I would tell her I hated the very thought of eating but was having a PB&J anyway.

    The past 110 days have been fucking brutal.

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