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  • Norcal Gma 2NorcalGma2@sfba.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 5:26 AM

    Yesterday I responded to Indigenous Peoples Day by sharing some of my family's history.
    I have one more story for you.
    My mother was born Wailaki and lived on the Round Valley Reservation.
    At least seven families lived on the ranch. Three generations of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
    My mother always said that while the country was starving during the depression they had ample game to hunt, fish in the Eel River and a massive garden. But when she was sent to Indian Boarding School she starved.
    I tell you this because her later health issues were likely the result of malnutrition as an adolescent.
    I was her end of life caregiver.
    The doctors were convinced that the atrophy of her brain was from alcohol. She was Indian but never a drinker. They wouldn't believe us and didn't help.
    Prejudice can manifest in so many different ways.
    She deserved better.
    This is why I seek out care for myself at my Indian Health clinic. They believe me when I tell them the truth

    My mother standing outside wearing a dress she made herself. She was just home after leaving Indian Boarding School. A skilled seamstress as she was trained to work as a domestic servant.
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Replies

  • Dragoncello Aufsmaulsuppeaufsmaulsuppe@chaos.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 5:36 AM

    @NorcalGma2 Thank you for sharing. Somehow hearing about discrimination in medical support always manages to send my anger against the way this world is working through the roof. It happens so often and for so many reasons and makes so many lives so much more difficult. But whom am I telling this...

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  • Norcal Gma 2NorcalGma2@sfba.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 5:50 AM

    @aufsmaulsuppe
    I believe this kind of thing is prevalent even today.
    My current provider wasn't surprised by this story but since we never got a definitive answer as to my mother's diagnosis she keeps an eye on me. I am already much older than my mom was when she passed and have none of her symptoms.
    Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all had access to healthcare services provided by professionals who understand us and listen like they care.

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  • Bob HorowitzBobHorowitz@sfba.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 5:43 AM

    @NorcalGma2 That is a strong image of a woman with strikingly wonderful features. And a striking image of a woman with wonderfully strong features. Regardless, based on the way you've spoken of her and her life, I would have loved to have known her, and I am glad you were there to protect and provide for her when she needed it.

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  • Norcal Gma 2NorcalGma2@sfba.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 6:01 AM

    @BobHorowitz
    We all have our stories.
    Right?
    My mother had one pair of high heels that were open toe and must have been from the 1940's. I am sure they were expensive in their day.
    She took such care of them.
    They were still in great condition when she died.
    I love shoes like she did and most of the time I was working I had more than a hundred pair in my closet. She would have loved my shoes.
    That's the thing about hanging out here.
    It makes me think and remember.
    It's good.

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  • Bob HorowitzBobHorowitz@sfba.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 6:12 AM

    @NorcalGma2 Yes, we have stories. Life is full of them.

    Add: shoes, especially when well cared for, can be therapeutic. I like to imagine my old shrink saying "Bob, why don't you skip your next session and get yourself a new pair of sneakers instead. It will cheer you up better than I can."

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  • Bob HorowitzBobHorowitz@sfba.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 6:32 AM

    @NorcalGma2 As for my own stories, my mother, a Depression-era child, was addicted to bargain hunting. Instead of taking us on playdates with other children, we spent weekends crawling on the floor of outlet stores, playing with dropped shirt pins and lost pennies. "Clarence" was her euphemism for clearance. Shopping? She'd say "we're going to see Clarence."

    Even when she was 96 and using a walker, she had us drive her to TJMaxx and Ross's so she could exercise her arm pushing clothes hangers on the racks of discounted merchandise.

    My sister, who lived nearby, took on the job of day to day care those last few years. I was Mom's remote shopper, banker, bill-payer, and healthcare/aide procurer while I was laid up with cancer.

    Again, you did good by your mother. She made it through tough times.

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  • SomeVeganCheeseIsOkSomeVeganCheeseIsOk@mastodon.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 10:09 AM

    @NorcalGma2 malnutrition is brutal. It should be gone today in our part of the world, but anorexia and lack of nutritional education means that it's still around to be studied.

    Your mom as a woman and nonwhite undoubtedly got the worst of whatever medical care was available. The fact that's true makes me continuous, silently furious.

    We need a LOT of education and representation in the medical fields.

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  • macquiltermacquilter@chaos.social
    Oct 14, 2026, 11:06 AM

    @NorcalGma2 I'd love to say that your mother lived in a time when people were different, but -- too sadly -- it's obvious that people haven't changed much. It's tragic. You were a good daughter, and that's all that any mother can ask.

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  • Deep Muddeepmud@mas.to
    Oct 14, 2026, 3:57 PM

    @NorcalGma2 this is an awful story. I am so sorry you had to be hospice care for your clearly misdiagnosed mother. 😭

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