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  • Awkward TuringAwkwardTuring@infosec.exchange
    Oct 21, 2026, 9:12 AM

    @Gina this is so unhinged. It's one thing to think weird stuff, but a whole other level to let that thought cross the brain-mouth-barrier.

    Or maybe I'm to generous and this is actual incel stuff. Unhinged it is at least.

    We're mentoring a young women in cybersec right now. She's doing rly well and so far I didn't sense any weird vibes towards her. That said: she hasn't been to the big tables yet. What can we - as colleagues and mentors - do, to support her when time comes and she gets shit on? Mind sharing what might have helped you in these scenarios?

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  • GinaGina@fosstodon.org
    Oct 21, 2026, 9:22 AM

    @AwkwardTuring The thing about the 'weird and inappropriate jokes and comments' part is that I don't think a lot of them meant any actual harm with them. They were just.. odd. You learn to awkwardly smile them away real quick.

    Idk what would have helped. It being recognized and addressed by older coworkers? I was too junior to call anything out (and sometimes didn't even recognize these things until much later).

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  • Awkward TuringAwkwardTuring@infosec.exchange
    Oct 21, 2026, 9:28 AM

    @Gina aye. I guessed as much. Had a female boss for several years who did exactly what you mentioned towards me. But idk what would have helped in terms of support, without exposing me even further.

    What I thought of doing is (obv) not laughing at smth like that and firmly "move on with the conversation" or shielding my coworker by mentioning that X should not be her task - Actively holding the professional space/frame so to speak.

    Not sure if that helps, but I honestly don't know what to do without framing her as damsel in distress of sorts.

    Anyway thanks for sharing! Rly appreciated!

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  • baconandcoconutbaconandcoconut@freeradical.zone
    Oct 21, 2026, 11:29 AM

    @AwkwardTuring @Gina Depending on many, many factors, you might consider two things. 1) having a few phrases ready to stop interruption eg, 'hang on, I'd like to hear the rest of Sarah's point' and 2) a few phrases ready for weird comments, "Huh, that's an odd thing to say in a work meeting." or "That's not really on topic for this meeting." and then turn the conversation to the next point.

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