re earlier: the rattling pile of debris that is tl, jumping at shadows again. but it goes to show us how badly overdue getting out of all of that has been. thankfully nothing happened. thankfully. sometimes you really can just have a day where some vast tangle of fuckshit isn't turning everything inside out in the background. well, it is, but we already know about that one heh. it's not even like, malice. a long time ago we had gotten past always thinking it was malice or insanity but that's when it got the worst. sometimes i regret that i saw what i was frightened of. looking at it did things to tl that can never be undone. put fears in us and made us too hard not to scare. you go looking for the end of time, whatever that means, and what you find there as an answer, does nothing for you anyway but let you live waiting, twitching at every noise, is that the noise. sometimes we wish we'd have stopped at the point where we thought it was always some intentional asshattery, then immediately branched from that to, don't do that, rather than be so insistent on finding what we were looking for because we found it and it was no revelation, it was no answer, it certainly wasn't a solution, and it wasn't anywhere near complete. what we found was a really sad song that something had chewed even harder.