Feb 19, 2026, 10:35 AMMy favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.
Turns water into wine
Floats on water
Makes bread for 5000 people
Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
Jesus was a sourdough starter.
Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'
Heals people => penicillin
Oh my, that explains everything!
Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed
Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.
@agowa338 @Buster
The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!
“Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21
"Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15
@msbellows @agowa338 @Buster Yeaster?
@Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1
@Buster Jesus Christ Super Red Star
@Buster explains the lacto basilica