internet taken offline by huge pulse of smugness from static site operators

I am currently letting an LLM write cryptography code for me in assembly, which is fine because it's for cracking keys.

Planned key searches - note that I am also checking each key for its field negation because this is free to do:

• Keys with few bits set
• Keys with repeated bit patterns
• Small keys
• Keys that look suspiciously like pointers

Maybe, if I feel like it:

• Keys from KDFs with low entropy inputs
• PRNG stream output
• CSPRNG stream output with weak seeds

For the avoidance of doubt, keys with multiple users will only be counted once per unique key.

How many ecc private keys will I crack from the certificate transparency logs by Friday?

@lcamtuf the quantum immortality conjecture, for CAs

I personally find data compression moderately more intimidating, but I've done a fair amount of low level implementation of both.

Which do you find more intimidating to implement, Cryptography or Data Compression? This is about perception, and please assume this is "from scratch" rather than plugging in a library.

Today is a good day to wear my :(){ :|:&};: (forkbomb) tshirt.

Someone: "Ryan, why do you need 128GB of RAM!?"
Me: "Chrome. But also breaking cryptography."

It's times like this I'm glad my computers have silly amounts of RAM. Sorting a billion x coordinates? No problem!

Corporate travel portal: This hotel less than a kilometer from the office is cheaper than the other hotel we found 8 kilometers away which will require you to uber to/from every day, but is out of policy and you can't book it.

Just to be clear, I am currently dumping elliptic curve keys from the tls certificate transparency logs, and will then be running an optimized mass-cracker tool that I'll use to check a few trillion weak private keys against the entire set simultaneously using sparse bloom filters.

The scanner (which is being heavily cribbed from my mass cryptocurrency key cracker "brainflayer") should be able to scan hundreds of thousands if not millions of keys per curve per second per core.

I am not aware of anyone else having previously done this, so hold on to your butts.

metaphors for explaining the current situation to non-tech-savvy people:

• the big safe in your local bank turns out to have a combination luggage lock that’s guarding everything inside it
• two of the three digits on that lock is jammed
• the third digit is 4

meanwhile that is happening,

• landlines can catch fire now out of nowhere
• and the phone company is only updating recently made landlines.
• this is making many landline owners to unplug their phones so they don’t catch fire

Fyi, if you have a risky patch, deploy, infra change, today's the day to do it. You can pretty much get away with anything. Don't waste this opportunity.

emitted 1,706,332,816 ec keys

Can't sleep, over a billion ECDSA public keys will eat me.

dump-P-256.x32.bin: 496,099,869 unique keys

Fun fact: the failure of ECDSA under duplicate k is just a special case of k with known difference.