I used to work at the zoo and one time a gorilla died of old age.
The problem was it was the only gorilla in the zoo because the zoo wasn't very profitable. The gorilla was by far the most popular attraction and they couldn't afford to go a single day without it being there.
So the zoo owner came up to me and said, “listen, for an extra hundred bucks, do you want to just put on this gorilla costume until we can afford a new gorilla?”
“Of course,” I said, “go on then.”
Pretty quickly, I became the biggest hit in the zoo. Everyone wanted to see this human-like gorilla. After about a month, the craze started to die down, but they kept pressuring me to get people's attention again. So in a desperate attempt, I climbed over to where the lions were and started hanging off the net. Suddenly a massive crowd gathered and everyone looked terrified. I could feel my grip slipping, I couldn't hold any longer. I started screaming, “help, help.” Then I fell.
The lion rushed towards me and just as I thought it was over, he leaned over and whispered, “shut the fuck up before we both get fired.”
