irresistible meadow

hard not to stop on my run

enjoy your morning walk / run !

#running #flowers #bloomscrolling #wildflowers

@TheBreadmonkey @mttkng Burro is Italian for butter but also Spanish for donkey. As I once discovered while asking for more donkey in a restaurant in Spain when I’d run out of butter…

One of those mornings practically fizzing with energy. Up early, do all the housey stuff then the taxi stuff then #ParkRun. It was hot hot hot! But my time was what scientists are referring to as 'pretty good'. Felt good after so went groceries shopping like an absolute gangster. Got home still full of energy so tidied the garden a bit as it was annoying me. Had an explosion of gorse? Is that what you call blackberry bushes? I'm tempted to just let it do its thing. Why not. It's not hurting anyone (except for me whenever I get close to it, it just suddenly jumps on me and shreds my arms and legs). Noticed it has some blackberries so I just went picking! Lovely. I was at it an hour and must have got at least 10-15! Must have just caught them ripening because there was literally one ripe blackberry at the end of each branch/cluster. I bet there's a scientific name for that. Blackberry Prime. B1. Tron. Anyway they are delicious! If anyone wants a Tron I've got a bunch in my fridge. Hope you're having a lovely day!

@TheBreadmonkey swift is a cia psyop

I'm afraid I must announce that after speaking to Mexico we have decided to change my scheduling. I'll therefore be 6 hours earlier. Thank you for your understanding.

@TheBreadmonkey I’m gonna shove a burrito in me in honour of our boys in Mexico

Imagine how much cheap horrible tequila will be drank in South London tomorrow night. Jalapeño pizzas.

I'd watch that tbf

I hope lightning strikes Harry Kane and transforms him into a terrible beast and he roams the land kicking people's heads off and eating them

Imagine being Taylor Swift and having to use a publicist when you brush your hair or whatever. Legions of fans rioting and smashing up a neighbourhood because you once guessed the name of the place in a pub quiz. I don't deny she's talented. I just don't understand the hysteria. It's like people's madness is all channeled into the wrong thing. Or maybe that's the point. She is the Great Distraction. Your life is terrible? Look at her. Give her all of your madness. She's so relatable! Try and get some of her hair!

Instead of fireworks, why not scare your neighbors the old fashioned way?
Grow out your antlers and fangs, cultivate a thunderous beard of moss, haunt the night, and become a terrifying creature of legend and lore.

bring back handcrafted artisanal bullshit

Rebel Rebel, your hair is quite nice!
Rebel Rebel, do you like my mice?
Rebel Rebel, do you like them please?
Hot tramp! They love dem cheese!

@bigvimto @TheBreadmonkey

She just has fish fingers

This is apparently quite a lot more expensive than I anticipated

If I'm won the lottery I'm going to do a Fyre Festival for the Fediverse

Up even earlier this week

#EppingForest #cycling

Declaration of IndeBendence, morelike

Love getting up before 6 on a Saturday. Hooray! Have a great day everyone. X

Onion ads are killing it rn