ISSUED BY THE AMBRIDGE & DISTRICT METEOROLOGICAL OFFICE (ADMO)
RED WARNING: RAIN, WIND, AND MAJOR FAMILY RUCTIONS
Valid from: 0600 Saturday until Pip and Stella are either married or no longer speaking to anyone
Issued: Friday, 1700, by a Senior Forecaster who has been told to stop saying “biblical”
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SUMMARY
A major depression will sit over Borsetshire for the duration of the weekend.
TEMPEST AND FLOODING
A major storm is brewing at Lower Loxley centered on the Great Hall. This great windstorm and major deluge is expected over the Am valley, with the Lower Loxley estate receiving the brunt.

Forecasters had initially anticipated a calm, dignified procession. This forecast is withdrawn.

Conditions are expected to be very frosty with a strong risk of passive-aggressive tea-making. Pip’s mood is unsettled, with outbreaks of aggression towards her brother. Josh remains safely out of range, which meteorologists describe as “extremely convenient for Josh.”

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