My favourite ever judicial intervention - judge to witness: take it slowly, I want to take a thorough note in case I believe a word you’re telling me

Court: how much longer counsel?
lawyer: if this witness starts telling the truth not much...

And from the same judge:
Counsel: ... What did you say to Mr Smith next?
Respectable witness: Your Honour, I used a rude expression I’m embarrassed to repeat.
Judge Kennedy: I shouldn’t worry about that, it sounds like it was just the right moment to tell him to fuck off.