I just finished reading "A Sorceress Comes to Call" by "T. Kingfisher," which is somebody's pen name. This book makes frequent reference to "The Ladies' Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness" by Florence Hartley. Gutenberg, bless their heart, has the book; link below.

https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/35123/pg35123-images.html