Earlier, as I was finishing my morning ablutions, which is to say I was still in my bathrobe and PJs, someone began persistently knocking on both the front door and the window next to the door! I stalked suspiciously to the door and when I peered out the blinds the knocker, in some branded polo and ball cap (clearly not a neighbor) increased knocking on the effing window.

Knocking so much Ursa Minor was making airplane ears and giving the door the stink eye!

I made my saving throw versus fury and remembered to turn off the alarm before flinging open our door to ask who they were. I pointed at our “No Soliciting” and asked they read it aloud to me.

Startled and confused, they complied. I asked if they know what the sign means.

Whereupon they failed to make their saving throw versus wisdom and brightly replied, “Yes! But I just need a few more families to join this amazing….”

And thus, The Kracken was released from their flimsy bonds.

I roared, “NO!”, and slammed the door and closed the blinds.

I had second thoughts, opened the door, and further admonished the salesperson, “Don’t ignore the effing sign next time! FFS!”

I wish I’d added that they’re not entitled to make a sad panda face when they ignore a sign and disturb someone’s privacy.

Anyway. Now I’m going to take my grumpy ass self to a LEGO thing.