it’s also the societal programming. I think growing up in Poland it was important to be skinny so I complied, problem is when you’re an overachieving competitive kid who will find a scientific solution to optimise shit that might well end up on an eating disorder. hello. ask me how I know. it is STILL taking reprogramming to get that my physically capable, healthy body that now has muscle and isn’t near anorexic can still look good