14
Vance: jd vance's long history of groveling for master's favor will definitely earn respect of orc hordes, which jd vance will totally be able to control!

13
Vance: the master will reward jd vance for his loyal service
Vance: after master is trapped at tower of Orthanc, orc hordes will definitely rally behind jd vance!

12
Blatty: and how does that affect the reconstitued convergence of the mother church post council of clonderickis?
Vance: jd vance thinks master is highest authority in catholicism
Vance: whatever master says, is answer
Vance: master is good!
Vance: master says jd vance will get to be american pope

11
Blatty: do the ecumenical reforms of the council of hagendevous (1235) supercede the traditional liturgy of the diet of antenjep (1123)? and, if so, what does that mean for the trilateral condition of the reformed soul, as stated by his holiness the desert father norvegicus augustine in 86 AD

10
Strieber: ok let's go to the lines
Strieber: caller, you're on the air with whitley strieber, author of the good communion book, and we're talking to jdvance, author of the other communion book
William Peter Blatty: yeah i have a question about catholicism

9
Vance: oh no! vance has displeased master!
Vance: so sorry master please forgive vance! master must punish jd vance for his failure!
Vance: jd vance is dirt! jd vance is garbage! jd vance is not worthy of master's love
Trump: i really don't know who this guy is, he just came with the office

8
[earlier]
Vance: master master jd vance will convert to catholicism to please master
Vance: does jd vance's new faith please master?
Trump: you blundering fool! the chicago pope saw right through it!
Trump: this conversion has failed to secure papist loyalty, you bumbling nincompoop!

7
JD Vance: jd vance so grateful that master allows jd vance to go on dreamland podcast to promote jd vance's communion book
Vance: master is so good to jd vance
Vance: master allows jd vance to sleep on master's floor and eat master's garbage
Vance: as vance deserves
Vance: master is so good!

6
Poe: it's about the wafers
Strieber: the what Poe: communion wafers Poe: you know when you eat the body of christ in a wafer
Strieber: what
Kim Newman: like the tom lehrer song
Strieber: what

5
Strieber: well i guess welcome jd vance to the show or whatever
Strieber: to tell his boring take on communion
Strieber: which i guess isn't even about communing with aliens
Strieber: i mean i don't even get the connection between that title and catholicism
Strieber: wait i'm being handed a note

4
Poe: it's actually about his conversion to catholicism
Strieber: what? no aliens?
Strieber: how am i supposed to podcast about that?
Strieber: no one wants to hear about a dude being catholic!
Barker: i don't know, anne is p into catholicism this week lol
Anne Rice: it's the one true faith for now!

3
Poe: whitley i think you should know
Poe: JD Vance's communion book isn't about aliens
Strieber: of course not
Strieber: we prefer to call them "star people"
Poe: right sure
Strieber: it's less othering
Poe: well it's not about them either

2
Strieber: on today's episode, we've got the author of the new book communion
Strieber: and i'm not talking about me
Strieber: i'm pleased to announce that the vice president of the united states has also met aliens
Strieber: wait i'm being handed a note right now

1
Whitley Strieber: welcome to the dreamland podcast
Strieber: the only podcast that casts the pod that the man doesn't want you to know
Strieber: the truth is out there
Strieber: or is that just what THEY want you to think?
Strieber: trust no one
Strieber: or is that just who THEY want you to trust?

2
Blatty: this is like when the blessed council of garbanza rectified the confluence of the discalced silurians in 1232!
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Blatty: c'mon it's so obvious!
Blatty: it's like a one to one correlation!
Poe:
King:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Blatty: i don't know how you can't see the parallels

1
William Peter Blatty: OMG did you guys hear
Poe: what?
Blatty: the society of st. pius X has schismed from the mother church!
Blatty: this could be the biggest interdoctrinal ecumenitestimal since the integral convergence of the helgrimite blasphemy at the diet of dendronal in 1536!!
Poe:
King:
Lovecraft:
Koontz:
Barker:

13
McCarthy: thank you for playing hokum. as usual, you've been a real pantload

12
Koontz: but i just think, maybe, if you tried the door...
Disch: ha! try the door? such an obvious solution!
Disch: who do you think i am, ron gilbert?
Disch: now quiet, i'm thinking!
Disch: hmm is there a way to escape this dungeon without the wizard's key

11
Disch: ok what if i deconstruct a clock and use the little mechanical man who rings the bell to push the button to summon the dumbwaiter
Koontz: what if you tried breaking down the door?
Disch: dean! please!
Disch: stop breaking my concentration!

10
Disch: to escape the hotel room, first i'll throw a pie at this yeti
Disch: then i'll draw a mustache on a fake ID after I make myself a fake mustache out of this cat hair i got by sticking a strip of tape above a hole in a fence
Barker: damn this guy is good
Poe: like watching a master at work