@CARROT Lake America? Really? Et tu?

Is it pitchforks and torches time? I feel like it’s pitchforks and torches time.

@britt makes the BEST stuff! @LibraryAndTea https://ottawa.place/@LibraryAndTea/117141200382521011

Sunflower pollen.

#SilentSunday

I wish @CARROT had the ability to show both °F and °C at the same time. Like 94° (37°C) so I knew what the temp was in both US and World systems.

Madonna’s “Vogue” is 36 years old. Someone get me my Centrum Silver. Jeeeeeez.

@adhdeanasl Was it you that got an HDMI capture card for …reasons? :blahaj_pirate:

I just spilled half a gallon of water on the kitchen floor and that was fun.

My Mom, calling on phone: Can you call Jeff? I’m locked out of church!

Me, wondering who Jeff is:…??? What’s? What’s his number? You have your phone.

Mom: I don’t know his number.

Me: … I … I don’t know him. Who’s Jeff?

Mom: Can you look him up?

Me, baffled: What’s the rest of his name? You couldn’t look him up?

Mom: I’ve tried for five minutes. I don’t know how!

Me, googling his full name as given by Mom: This dude doesn’t exist. He’s no where online.

Mom: *sounds of frustration* They’re waiting for me inside!

Me: Go knock on the Rectory.

Mom: Okay, bye.

WTF. Like, what just happened.

@lisamelton Do you know anything about this jacket? I can’t find anything on the Internet.

Hello! I’m moving off a certain #DnD site and have rolled out my own self-host of #5eTools. I own all the 2014 ruleset books and would like to import them into 5etools. Does anyone know where I can find #JSON files for the books for 5etools? Thank you. Please boost for reach/answer?

Does anyone know of a #FOSS tool for hosting your own #DND knowledge base? Like dndbeyond but with the all content you own and none of the BS? Please boost for reach.

Block! @dalias https://hachyderm.io/@dalias/116286540925560722

OMG @britt https://mstdn.games/@britt/116144166327065458

Humans have a fundamental RIGHT to privacy. @Em0nM4stodon https://infosec.exchange/@Em0nM4stodon/116042189238895808

Fedi friends, I’m looking for a place to pick up a #Pixel 8 series or 9 series for a fair price. What are your favorite spots to check? Thanks for your #help!

It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is FINE.

Anyway, if Colonoscopy instructions were accurately written:

Procedure Date: Friday

Instructions for Wednesday:

1. Drink 144oz/4,259ml of clear liquids throughout the day. See attachment for our ambiguous definition of clear. You will need to pee every 22 minutes with startling urgency. Have fun with that.

2. Consume a low fiber diet. See attached list of acceptable foods.

3. Approximately 8 hours before you want to wake up on Thursday, take 2 laxative pills. If you take them earlier, you will awaken to alarming cramps and pray each expulsion from your butt as you run down the hall is only fart. Bring a book.

Instructions for the Day Prior to your Procedure (Thursday):

1. NO SOLID FOOD. You'll be hungry AF, but tough shit (ha ha see what we did there?)

2. You may drink clear liquids all day. NO RED OR PURPLE! Again see confusing list below. Make sure you drink enough or you'll get weak.

3. Open two, room-temperature, 28oz/828ml bottles of Sportsball Drink. NO RED OR PURPLE! Dump out a little bit from each bottle and mix in 7 capfuls of Powdered Laxative. Close bottles and shake the living shit (haha) out of them. This will create an unholy concoction with an unspeakable taste/texture combination. You still have to drink them.

4. At 6pm or later, drink one of the bottles of Ass-Blaster Beverage you mixed in the previous step. You have to finish it within the hour. We can't tell you when it will kick in, so don't plan to leave the toilet area. Don't plan to sleep.

5. 1 to 2 hours after consuming the Devil's Drink, take 2 more laxative pills. You've been warned.

6. 4 hours prior to your anal probe, drink the last bottle of Ass-assination. You have to finish it within the hour. NO SOLID FOOD!

List of acceptable foods: eggs, cheese, noodles, chicken, white rice

List of clear liquids: Coffee, Jello, Juice without pulp, Broth without bits, soda pop, and popsicles that aren't red or purple.

What's our definition of clear? That's a secret.
What's our definition of liquid? Also a secret!

Why are you crying? Oh please. Are you a wo/ma/nb or a mouse?

…Stop squeaking.

Does anyone use #Obsidian and #QuickAdd? I’d like to hire someone to write me two scripts and maybe help with templates. Thank you.

*throws home server out the window and goes to bed*

I’ve been wearing my emotional support dinosaur overalls yesterday and today and they’re working.