And Joe, that was his name, Joe, he just held my hand for a minute.
And then he said, "No, this is *good* news, on two different counts."
1) It gives us a plan. It's good to have a plan. It's good to know what to watch for, and it's good to have an answer for it, and we will have that.
2) It confirms beyond any question that this is your *body*. You are ill. You are not weak. It's not your mind, it's your body.
And there it is.
I am in what more or less we would call remission, for, good lord, at least a decade.
Do you know why?
I sure fucking don't.
Do you see my hands here, do you see the red patches at the outside of the palms?
Those are histamine reactions. They are permanent. Also on my feet. Sometimes they get outta hand, mostly not, tho.
I'm a head case. :)
There is a culture around certain illnesses that is about "failure of will". Not just my illness, but other illnesses, too.
That culture teaches people that their illness is a result of their failure of will.
Y'all muhfuckers have no idea about how strong my will is.
Sixty-six fucking years.
@GeePawHill I'm so glad you made it and you're kicking whatever-it-is's butt. I'm so glad you had people like Helen and Joe in your life to get you the help and affirmation you needed.
And the bonus dog in the background! :chef_kiss:
@mayintoronto Molly says hi. :)
@GeePawHill Thank you for sharing these stories, I'm always richer for reading them.
I hope that for all the challenges life puts in your way the things you carve out make it all worthwhile.
Oct 14, 2026, 5:05 AM@GeePawHill Word!
I've been sick since I was 19. My 20th diagnosis anniversary is in two weeks. If I was failing at will, I would have sent myself off to Hell years ago.
(I don't believe in Hell, but the folk who judge me for my disabilities do, so I let them have that idea. 😂)
GP, I know a lot about histamine reactions.
I get them all the freaking time, because my gut just doesn't process histamine from food well, and I need to really watch what I eat to avoid them. (No beer. No chocolate! *sigh*)
It's not to the degree of anaphylactic shock, but very annoying. And I have the markers on my legs.
It *sucks*. But it's not in my head, it's my stupid *body*.
*hugs*
Hang in there. I'm glad to know you.
@GeePawHill I started bawling when the new psychiatrist said to me: "I believe you when you say it's not anxiety."
She was the first person to actually listen to me. So many other specialists said it was just anxiety and told me to take up yoga and lose weight.
I literally do not experience anxiety.
@mayintoronto Innit? The one person. It's like a key.