Oct 15, 2026, 3:13 AMIt's so weird having a dysfunctional brain reward circuit. I guess that's an AuDHD thing?
In any case, I've achieved all the goals I set for today, and the result is that I feel no sense of achievement, only tired and icky because all the goals were state bureaucracy related rather than anything I attach personal value to.
Or maybe nobody feels good achieving goals they don't personally believe in. Idk.
Oct 15, 2026, 3:18 AM@pjf you've done well!
@pjf well done!
FWIW I think everyone’s reward circuits score lowly “did things, without personal value, that had to be done because someone else insisted”. Especially without an “other person” expressing gratitude. At best maybe relief that it’s done, which is a fairly neutral reward.
I can only imagine that AuDHD makes that muted “reward” even more muted.
Hopefully those being done at least opens the opportunity to do something you actually care tomorrow 🙏
@pjf oof. Yeah, the older my brain gets the harder for me is to get a "non-externalized" reward from my brain.
Like I did the thing, it was not a easy thing and my brain is: "Thank you, but I will shutdown for now. There is chocolate or computer games go make yourself feel accomplished through them".
I don't know if this is not the case for other people, but I suck without external validation/pat on the back reward.