Oct 7, 2026, 12:54 PMApparently kids don't have any say over who they are & they don't get to ask other people to see them as they see themselves.
FUCK THAT.
You don't own your kids. You can't control who they are & how they will express it. And if you're "worried" for them, worry about whether other people will allow them to exist freely & safely as themselves.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:08 PMOf course, he thinks his daughter has been indoctrinated, but when I talked to her mom she told me that while she had never heard the word "therian" until Niece brought it up to her, Niece has expressed that she identifies very strongly with wolves since she was about 5 years old.
So sure, she learned a new word for it & found out that other people feel a similar way to her, but no one taught her to feel that way about herself, & it's a feeling/identity that has persisted for a long time.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:08 PMAnd it's like...DUDE. She's not confused about her status as a person! Like, the child clearly knows & understands that physically she's a human being & that she needs relationships with other human beings. She's not running off to live feral in the wilderness. She just feels a kinship & something to relate to there.
Human beings strongly identifying with a particular type of animal is so not new. Pretty sure there are examples going all the way back to the beginning of recorded human history.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:11 PMSeriously, we had almost my whole family together recently, & what did Spouse remark to me about that he thought made this Niece different to my siblings other kids? Self-awareness. He said he was impressed that a child at her age had such a clear idea of who she was & how she wanted to be.
He looked at my other niblings & saw a bunch of sweet kids, but it was this particular child he noticed & said "THAT one knows who she is."
Oct 7, 2026, 1:16 PMThe child is not "confused," & no one else could tell her who she is.
I legitimately think it's one of her greatest strengths, & Spouse independently observing that helps confirm my opinion.
I have never gotten the impression that this child wants to pretend to be anyone other than herself.
You want to talk indoctrination? ALL of my other niblings go to church every single Sunday & get told EXACTLY who they are & what will happen to them if they don't fit that mold.
That's indoctrination.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:21 PMHonestly it's so darkly hilarious that—while he's not religious himself—he sees absolutely no harm in our other siblings' children *literally* being indoctrinated at church & having their entire identities (& even the thoughts they are allowed to have in their heads) defined by actual church *doctrine*.
But when his daughter comes to him & says "dad, I'm a wolf-girl," THAT to him is evidence of "indoctrination".
Oct 7, 2026, 1:26 PMI guess I've been indoctrinated by all the fox-girls I see on Fedi (hello, you lovely people!), so I'm under the foolish impression that people are usually happiest when you let them be themselves.
(Yes, I know there are plenty of other therian-type-folk around here of all genders. It's just that I've met a LOT of fox-girls.)
Oct 7, 2026, 1:32 PMMy brother complains about how rigid the expectations of the people he hangs around with are, but secretly he wants that restriction, just not for HIM.
He wants to be allowed to grow his hair long & wear rings & beautiful scarves & other "feminine" things & have no one bother him about whether he is being a man the right way or not, but he wants his daughter to be restricted to a certain way of being & presenting herself.
Such bullshit.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:32 PMDude, if you want acceptance you have to become accepting.
There are so many people in the world who would happily accept however he wants to present himself, & the only comment they would ever make on it is "wow. Your scarf is really pretty," but you are only allowed into those spaces when you accept everyone else.
You can't expect the fucking authoritarians to make an exception for you, so that you can continue to police how other people get to exist.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:34 PMI keep telling him that none of *my* friends do any of this policing of people's masculinity (or femininity), but also... nearly all of my friends are some flavor of queer, & the ones that aren't queer still want to exist in accepting places where no one tells you who to be.
Like, if he wants acceptance, the ONLY thing he has to give in exchange is acceptance. That's the cover charge.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:48 PMI've sometimes wondered if he is trans, because if I went down a checklist of common "egg" behaviors that trans women say people often show when they don't know/can't accept that part of their identity, there would be a whole lot of checkmarks on that list.
But it's not my business to figure that out for him, & I don't think it matters in this discussion because it's clear that whatever else he is, he is gender non-conforming, & he wants to be given some permission to express that.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:48 PMI'm genderqueer & also a cis woman. It's possible to be gender non-conforming & not necessarily be trans, but whatever you call it, however you see yourself, you will not be welcome among right-wing bigots/authoritarians. Conformity is not optional.
I think part of the reason he fancies himself as such a non-conformist is that he sticks very close to people who demand conformity, so he feels he's much more of an independent thinker than he actually is.
Oct 7, 2026, 1:48 PMLike, good job getting your mind outside of the smallest box you could possibly put a person into, but you've got a looooong way to go before you understand what non-conformity actually looks like.
You're only "weird" by the standards of the people inside that tiny box whom you insist on making your friends.
Oct 7, 2026, 2:11 PMAnyway, texted my niece's mom to get her address & ask if she likes stickers (apparently she loves them!).
Gonna send her a letter & throw in a couple wolf stickers to say "hey, I see you, girl!"
Actually, I bought a 200 pack of wolf stickers (100 different stickers, 2 of each), because it would be fun to always throw a couple little wolves in when I write to her. I may as well stock up.
Oct 7, 2026, 2:11 PMI'd rather let her decide to talk to me about it so that I don't make her feel like I'm pushing her to explain anything to me.
I get the sense she's a bit apprehensive around her dad's family at the moment, but I figure a couple cute little wolf stickers would be a good start. I'm sure her mom will let her know that Aunt Artemis can be trusted with whatever she wants to share.
@artemis been following this whole thread (100% in agreement with you) and man, this is why I just can't with people anymore :facepalm:
@artemis lovely! Well done!
Also lol the 200 pack. Love it.
@artemis
i'm glad she has you. having someone is so very, very important.
🐺
@artemis 🐺 ❤️
@artemis putting the "pack" in "pack of stickers" 🐺🐺🐺
@artemis
This hits hard, as a person who wasn't allowed to figure myself out as a child because of religious indoctrination and the concept that even impure thoughts could lead me to damnation.
Thank you for this rant. I needed it today.
@artemis
The self-awareness she has may also be a contributing factor in the father's fears of her being gay. A child who knows them self often reads as other to adults who don't know themselves.
@artemis when I was five I identified with Barbie, Tonka Trucks and crayons. Literally no one cared. People need to just let kids be kids and let them find themselves along the way.