I let myself have a little fun and used this as a research project to try out CSS grid. Possibly, I did not use it optimally, but it felt a lot nicer than flex for what I wanted.
I also discovered drop shadow filters, which greatly simplified the image preprocessing and layout. There was a WebKit bug this ran into, but the bug had enough of a workaround for me to ship it (there’s a note in the CSS if you’re curious).