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  • oniononion@night.studio-2am.net
    Jul 31, 2026, 5:48 AM
    Some years ago I lived in the greater Tokyo area which if you've ever been there, there's no clear line between Tokyo and Not-Tokyo. But I saw some old photographs taken from helicopters or so and it used to be all farms and woods.

    I guess I knew and talked to some older people back then, and that's why I wrote this bit of fiction or short story:
    https://www.studio-2am.net/pinetree

    It's not really "finished", but it wraps up more or less. To be honest I had forgotten about 80% of this, so digging it up and re-reading it now feels like reading someone else's writing.

    I think I had more in mind, but I'll post it as it is. If you decide to read (1500 words, about 6-7 minutes according to readtime.io) it would be nice if you'd let me know what you thought!

    #fiction #writing #shortstory
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Replies

  • Mugentokimugentoki@mastodon.social
    Jul 31, 2026, 6:41 AM

    @onion The first time I went up Tokyo Tower (didn't got a chance for Skytree yet), I was stunned by the view.

    No matter where you look or how far you look, there's only the cities skyline. Buildings over buildings. Aside from the tiny bit of Tokyo Bay and the ocean when looking south / south-east.

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  • IrgndSonDeppirgndsondepp@gts.da-miez.de
    Aug 4, 2026, 9:51 AM

    @onion I really liked it. 😊
    Masao felt very real, stuck in his ways, but not necessarily in a bad way. I know lots of people like that.
    And I liked the ending as well. I was expecting some kind of twist, but the last few sentences caught me off guard. The idea that his relationship with his wife deteriorates quickly, once he actually gets to spend more time with her, is so real and easy to understand, yet I've never thought about that.
    The only thing that left me wondering was, what he thought about having a son. Does he resent him, because he imagined another future for him? Or does he love him, despite getting more and more estranged from his mother?

    Also...that website is a bit dodgy. 😅
    I had to read it on my desktop, because half the text was illegible on mobile (white text on white background, some issue with the CSS formatting on smaller screens). There's no link back to the home page and there's no link from the home page to your story.
    Maybe you want to fix that? Let me know if you want help with that. 🙂

    Edit: attached some pictures.

    The initial view on mobile. Part of the post is cut off on the right side.
    Scrolling over to the right only shows a large strip of white, hiding the text.
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  • oniononion@night.studio-2am.net
    Aug 5, 2026, 9:21 AM
    Thanks for your feedback!

    The website CSS needs fixing yes ^^;
    Hadn’t checked how it looks on a phone.
    I have a story or two more I’d like to post and they’re thematically set around the same (fictional) station. So I’ll have to make a hub page off the main page eventually.

    About the son, yes that bit is cut somewhat short.
    When I found the story among my old files, it ended when they move out and the old house is razed. The two paragraphs at the end where there as sort of in-progress notes and I stitched them on.
    My take would be that Masao has lost his purpose and now he doesn’t know what to do with his life or his son.

    @irgndsondepp@gts.da-miez.de
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  • IrgndSonDeppirgndsondepp@gts.da-miez.de
    Aug 5, 2026, 9:54 AM

    @onion bleak...I like it. 🤩
    But I don't mind that it's left open to interpretation. I'm looking forward to reading some more of your stories. 🙂

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