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  • skuaskua@mastodon.social
    Oct 4, 2026, 12:21 PM

    @CynAq @KatyElphinstone

    I don't see calling a bully out as oppression either.

    And caling a bully out seems to fit well with a "system of norms and practices that trigger this sensitivity on purpose to keep people obedient."

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  • K. J. ElphinstoneKatyElphinstone@mas.to
    Oct 4, 2026, 12:27 PM

    @skua @CynAq

    Yes to all of this. I've thought so deeply about, at what point is it oppression - and at what point is it liberation?

    My conclusion is (so far) there's a pivotal moment, where one can carefully study the reaction of the other person when someone makes themselves vulnerable in front of them. Do they a) step down too, reciprocally (both relenting and showing vulnerability themselves), or b) take the just-vacated high ground for themselves? It can be so incredibly subtle... such a tiny little movement. One that speaks volumes.

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  • Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lamapunishmenthurts@autistics.life
    Oct 5, 2026, 7:00 PM

    @KatyElphinstone @skua @CynAq
    .
    I think I’ve worked out how blocking their bullying really does hurt them, though. It’s all a little more complicated than we think.
    .
    The point is they are deflecting all the shit they ever took from anybody, conscious and subconscious, and as long as they let it flow, let it out as fast as they take it in, they don’t have to feel their . . . inventory of bad feelings.
    .
    But try to stop the outflow, you are asking them to feel all the crap they ever took.
    .
    It’s this dark magic trick to fill their store when they’re children by spanking and worse so that they enter life overflowing, unable to absorb any more abuse without passing some along.
    .
    When you don’t pass it on, it hurts and RSD etc., is when you’re keeping it all and you cannot take any more.
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    It’s always been my insight that this is where the optional part happens, childhood, the part that seems like it could be changed. Once their store is full, you can’t talk to them anymore.
    .
    😳💜
    @autistics

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  • Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lamapunishmenthurts@autistics.life
    Oct 5, 2026, 7:38 PM

    @KatyElphinstone @skua @CynAq @autistics
    .
    I’m not really seeing the leveraging of RSD, my whole theory is they leverage the opposite reaction in themselves, that they are not sensitive to the abuse, they do other things with this input, they get strong, and they fall into their group dynamics and some form of hate.
    .
    It’s a disorder because it is NOT the response they are looking for.
    .
    You’re not supposed to be upset about it, you’re supposed to sort of agree with it, and start looking forward to your turn to dish it out, unload yourself.
    .
    Sorry. But there’s a reason simply shaming them doesn’t work. And the “good,” NTs aren’t doing anything to change that, that’s their neurology too.
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    I don’t see how this theory should offend them, but that would only be true if they bothered to understand it.
    .
    /2

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  • CynAq🤘CynAq@beige.party
    Oct 5, 2026, 8:06 PM

    @punishmenthurts rsd was mentioned by me in this thread but not as the objective of my argument.

    I just mentioned it to enter into a general rejection sensitivity that neurotypical people have and, I think, are systematically weaponizing against each other.

    Though, because of RSD and other additional marginalization, neurodivergent people are significantly more harmed by it, while having no choice but to suffer.

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  • Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lamapunishmenthurts@autistics.life
    Oct 5, 2026, 8:09 PM

    @CynAq
    .
    ah, right, while for them it is fuel. It's averse, but not deal breakingly so like it is for us.
    .
    Puts me in mind of the caterpillars that eat the plant's defensive toxins and turn it into their own defense.

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  • CynAq🤘CynAq@beige.party
    Oct 4, 2026, 12:28 PM

    @skua “calling out a bully” is a specific practice. In order to assert it is a part of the system of oppression, you have to demonstrate how it’s systemic in context.

    Beating a person is an action. Beating for obedience to authority is oppression. Beating in self defense is not.

    I don’t think we can take any individual prescribed action and extrapolate a systemic behavior from that.

    @KatyElphinstone

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  • CynAq🤘CynAq@beige.party
    Oct 4, 2026, 12:36 PM

    @skua
    Another way to look at it is this:

    Oppression is pre-rejecting an identity, or part of an identity to trigger rejection sensitivity for suppression of autonomy.

    However bullying is clearly grounds for rejection. There is a solid, objective reason for rejection of a bully.

    @KatyElphinstone

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