ETU: waaahh if you let them, people won’t give us all their money!

https://www.abc.net.au/news/science/2026-11-12/plug-in-solar-and-batteries-may-cause-house-fires/107350418

Home from ER. Kid seen and declared non-super. Leaving carpark ($33 for 2hrs) the boomgate robot prompted “insert ticket or season pass”. Said to kid “maybe we should look into getting you one of these season passes”

“Is that the last truckload?”

“Yep, hopefully things settle down now”

“What, you don’t WANT to get another order for fifty tons of synthetic sapphire out of the—forgive me!—blue?”

“Ask me in a week when i can move again. I spent this morning helping the dock crew load that truck”

“What do you reckon they want it for?”

“I dunno, new chip fab starting up maybe, some kind of space datacenter tech, could be a fucking dragon with a blue fetish”

“Hahaha. Wait, if dragons can buy cheap synthetic gems by the truckload , is it really treasure?”

“I heard a cartel of dragons owned de Beers in the noughties. All about constraining supply”

“We’re the biggest synthetic stone lab in this hemisphere, what are they gonna do, burn us—fuck what was that sound”

“Claws. Roof. RUN!”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Supply_Chain_Attack

For those struggling with democracy, here's how we do it (not perfectly but I think pretty fairly) in Australia.

1. Everyone is expected to vote. There is a small fine if you don't show up and get checked off the electoral roll. If you choose to vote by scribbling a dick and balls on your ballot paper, whatever. Campaigning is focused on issues not on "please go vote". Getting a call, text or email from a political party is pretty rare.

2. There is a government department tasked with making it easy and feasible for everyone to vote. Waiting longer than 5 mins is very rare. There is generally a polling place within walking distance. Pre-poll and postal voting are available for those who can't make it on the day (which is always a Saturday).

3. Voting is by ranked-choice. You cannot "waste" your vote, if your first preference comes last, your vote transfers to your second preferenace (and so on). This means independents and smaller parties get elected and can have influence.

4. After the election, parties receive a small amount of funding for each first-preference vote they receive. This means putting the Lazycrats *second* after the FreeKittensParty hurts the Lazycrats in their hip pocket, even if the FKP could never win.

5. Voting places are friendly. Usually they are a school or church where an impromptu jumble sale and barbecue happens. I have never seen a cop, soldier or even a display of anger at a polling place.

6. Campaign workers must stay a certain distance away from the polling place. Advertising must end the day before the election.

7. Election campaigns last about 4 weeks, not years.

You don't have to make this so fucking hard.

Y’all hear that? Your unrestricted developer access to prod is an attack surface. 🧑‍🚀 🔫 👨‍🚀

“TRICK OR TR—wow thats a great costume mister!”

“IT IS NOT A COSTUME. I AM ALIBRAXUS OF THE THIRD TIER. I HAVE PREPARED HAZELNUT PRALINES AND CHILI POPCORN FOR YOUR DAMNATION.”

“Mmmmhph these are great…”

THREE TWO ONE…

“Yaahhhhhhhh!”

“AND CHOCOLATE MILK FOR THE AFTERBURN”

“Miss Sarah, can your demon cook for my birthday party next month?”

“You’ll have to ask nicely, I’m not the boss of him”

“TECHNICALLY YOU ARE MISTRESS SARAH, BUT I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Treaty_Negotiation

Some details of Queensland’s new “micromobility is bad for billionaires” e-bike laws.

* Bikes that dont have a sticker certifying compliance with EUllshootyoureyeout standard 666 are illegal and subject to seizure (power and speed limits, and throttle must cut out over 6kmh)
* if you bike has no sticker you can have it inspected for $70 but if it does not comply it’s for the crusher as “any compliance modification could be easily reversed”
* conversely non-compliant e-scoooters MAY be modified by firmware or hardware to remain compliant, since everyone knows you can’t hack a scooter
* because fuck you, that why

Break into a nuclear wessel today in memory of Walter. As good a villain as a hero.

Everybody is talking about secret keys today. When I worked for a vendor of hardware security vaults used to store bank PINs, the master key was split over multiple smart cards, each held by a different senior executive. The modules themselves had fat RAM disks, case intrusion switches, and light sensors on their motherboard. Attempting to move or open one would wipe the ram drive.

Therefore it is vitally important to get the smartcard back *before* firing a senior executive.

Otherwise your hardware vendor may have to fly an engineer to your country. One who is comfortable using an angle grinder, knows exactly where to cut, and is patient enough not to make too many sparks.

First ride with a new (to me) water bottle. How do i get the cap off? Oh, you’re supposed to bite then suck. Not sure if squicked out or wondering if they make larger sizes…😳

Another successful week, by at least one measure.

ABOUT THE ROLE: The Forward-Deployed Quality Engineer acts to ensure complete test coverage of the application by eliminating database entries that fall outside test coverage.

ABOUT YOU: You are comfortable working within our ISO9001c quality process, and have at least five years experience with precision telescopic-sighted long arms and a documented kill-rate exceeding 95%. In addition you have at least ten deletions with knife or garrote.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Position_Description #BonusEdition

I can’t believe it took us nearly half a century to work this out, but quad packaged microprocessors were a terrible mistake. The electric field surrounding all four sides of the integrated circuit creates a karmic residence responsible for many of the ills affecting the world. New regulations coming into effect next year limit ICs to DIP packaging. Intel and Apple are already trialling 400 pin dial in line packages. Fortunately screens are all ultra wide now so a 6x120cm motherboard is no problem. Patent filings show Apple has a folding DIP package under development.

Applicats #StraightOuttaShenzen https://s.click.aliexpress.com/e/_mPRwG4F

Yep nobody will notice a thing

When life gives you solder burns you make moggies.

RE: https://infosec.exchange/@0xabad1dea/117338077117519676

I love that we know of Ea-Nasir because they saved their collection of complaint letters in their house.

RE: https://tech.lgbt/@Natasha_Jay/117337020259639486

“Our viral marketing campaign for the Zoo — leaving a trail of steaks from the unlocked lion enclosure to the nearby kindergarten — has led to unexpected tragedy”

Uh huh, uh huh “a big computer did it and ran away” is now a valid defence, gotcha

RE: https://aus.social/@Unixbigot/117312573938682192

I’ve been using and evaluating alternatives to Raspberry Pi for many years. Hit me up if you want a single board computer reccomendation. I also have a bunch of alternatives in stock leftover from reviews and projects. Finally, if you’re building a project around a raspberry pi, that’s a totally understandable starting point for a rapid prototype. My day job is helping people to make the post-prototype revision(s) cheaper and more reliable by moving to more appropriate (and economical!) hardware and firmware alternatives.