@Drude @chisop Not everyone who asks a question sees it as rude or intrusive. You are, online, dealing with a lot of cultures, a lot of people's very different social backgrounds. "What age is ready to deal with informed consent" might be obvious to you, but for some folks, today is the first time they have thought about what that means. That's the internet.
Jun 2, 2026, 2:11 PMBut it's a pattern. The emotional labor in those discussions is expected from the people already hurt by a topic. While the ones "just asking questions" get the benefit of the doubt.
@Drude @SomeVeganCheeseIsOk
"Just asking questions" is a huge red flag, if only because the one asking clearly isn't prepared to find out more on the subject and expects the person who's talking about their trauma to fill in all the gaps. I've had abuse hurled at me by a "just asking questions" for asking them not to use a deeply transphobic term while asking about trans people.
@anarchic_teapot @Drude "someone asking questions did so maliciously" does not mean everyone asking questions is doing so maliciously. If you take that as your lesson and attack everyone asking questions, you become exactly what your malicious attackers wanted: a terrible experience for everyone interacting with you in public forums, who will perpetuate their malice long after they are gone.
@anarchic_teapot @Drude If you are not comfortable dealing with people you do not already know and trust in public spaces, maybe you should restrict yourself posting to a smaller, more private location. Because the public online is never going to conform to your current communication preferences. Being in a public, cross-cultural space and expecting people to automatically know what you consider rude based on personal history is unrealistic.
Jun 2, 2026, 7:46 PMMaybe then you shouldn't lecture people who deal with stuff differently than you.
@Drude What response do you want here? I see options for hostile, childish, humor, and a few others.
Which one are you looking for, and why?
Jun 2, 2026, 8:14 PMI just won't conform to your current communication preferences and I think you should accept that. As you said before is needed in public spaces like this one.
@Drude And that's fine! What I'm asking is not for you to change your own standards! But gently saying that you might consider not trying to force others to comform to your preference. Not being snarky or policing on them. Not criticizing people at the very first question they ask.
Don't give the people who attacked you the satisfaction of becoming what they wanted you to be.
Jun 2, 2026, 11:15 PM> "What age is ready to deal with informed consent" might be obvious to you, but
Nice goalposts move! Very slick.
That was not only not the original question, the original question was actually an argument not a question.
Not sure why you're working overtime defending somebody being a dick by misrepresenting what they did to be something less objectionable than what they actually did.
@siderea @SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @Drude what can i say about your reaction...
To me there is at least a misalignment between your bio description and your reaction.
I ask a question in a public post where anybody can choose to reply or not.
If that is kind of a dick to you, well ok, see my first line here.