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myrmepropagandistfuturebird@sauropods.win
Oct 20, 2026, 12:28 AM
Business Idea:
Human Agent Service Incorporated
(and we DO mean *incorporated*)
This is a business that operates online, through the dark web and any other digital network an AI agent might use to try to solve a problem.
Need a human to call the person who set you to a task and say something on the phone? Do you need a person to show up and do an action? Our human workers have got you and we'll make the bill say whatever you want for your expense report.
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Replies

myrmepropagandistfuturebird@sauropods.win
Oct 20, 2026, 12:30 AM
Don't waste your time with a company designed to help people with problems solved by people. We cater to agents only.
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Andrewcinebox@masto.hackers.town
Oct 20, 2026, 12:30 AM
@futurebird https://rentahuman.ai
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myrmepropagandistfuturebird@sauropods.win
Oct 20, 2026, 12:31 AM
@cinebox
It was supposed to be dark satire. Ok. I'm done here. Packing up.
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myrmepropagandistfuturebird@sauropods.win
Oct 20, 2026, 12:43 AM
@cinebox
How the heck is a girl supposed to write a creepy SF micro fiction when these goobers keep just literally doing the thing that I wanted to be ominous and portend dark futures about???
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AN/CRM-114flyingsaceur@ioc.exchange
Oct 20, 2026, 12:46 AM
@futurebird @cinebox if you want to really freak people out, move your five minutes into the future to eighty years ago
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myrmepropagandistfuturebird@sauropods.win
Oct 20, 2026, 12:47 AM
@cinebox
"And so the man turned over his whole life, his decisions, his finances, even choices about what he would wear and eat... to the MACHINE."
"Oh yeah, Leonard's doing that I think."
"What."
"Yeah, turned his whole life over. It's strange."
"Is he... OK?"
"No, not really."
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PhosphenesPhosphenes@mastodon.social
Oct 20, 2026, 8:12 AM
@futurebird @cinebox
Identity theft as a service.
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CanageekCanageek@wandering.shop
Oct 20, 2026, 12:47 AM
@futurebird @cinebox You've contracted The Onion curse
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Hugo Millsdarkling@mstdn.social
Oct 20, 2026, 9:23 AM
@futurebird @cinebox Charlie Stross has spent the last 20 years or so doing this. I think he's had to abandon at least two books because reality caught up with him.
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Daniel Lakelanddlakelan@mastodon.sdf.org
Oct 20, 2026, 12:43 AM
@futurebird
Satire is dead
@cinebox
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PhosphenesPhosphenes@mastodon.social
Oct 20, 2026, 11:32 AM
@futurebird @cinebox
This was touched on in Bruce Sterling's Bicycle Repairman:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_Repairman
In it, people have 'mooks'. Your mook is an AI that represents you to other people.
The main character is too off-grid to maintain his mook so it dies of neglected insanity.
But everyone around him is fighting to hide the fact that a Senator is so senile he only repeats everything his mook says. A mook is running the government.
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Agnieszka R. Turczyńskaagturcz@circumstances.run
Oct 20, 2026, 1:51 AM
@cinebox @futurebird I'm stunned by this slop of lab protective garment. WTAF?
CW: slop, it burns eyes.
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myrmepropagandistfuturebird@sauropods.win
Oct 20, 2026, 1:57 AM
@agturcz @cinebox
How much porn did they feed it?
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Bradbk1e@mastodon.social
Oct 20, 2026, 1:18 AM
@futurebird “AGI — A Guy Instead”
https://pivot-to-ai.com/2026/02/09/waymo-self-driving-cars-powered-by-agi-a-guy-instead/
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interstarinterstar@artoot.xyz
Oct 20, 2026, 5:25 AM
@futurebird
Isn't that basically Amazon's Mechanical Turk though?
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Vanu ArsonVanuPhantom@zug.network
Oct 20, 2026, 10:16 AM
@futurebird https://www.reddit.com/r/onionheadlines/comments/1ixcuqe/the_onion_is_shutting_down/
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