Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PM... achieving such a speed would likely result in your vehicle being embedded into a tree and parts of your internal organs no longer being on the inside of your body. This is not an optimal outcome, so I consider this limitation a bonus. ⬇
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMBut what if you're an environmentally conscious mother who needs to drive the 5 minute walk to your kids' school? Surely, a modern car must be less polluting?
Again, dear reader, you are wrong.
CO2 emissions/km:
C15: 151.5 g/km
Ranger: 178 g/km
Discovery: 397 g/km⬇
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMIn addition to these flagrant examples of the C-15s supremacy, there are several other perks:
- So many were built that any French garage can replace the entire engine for the price of a croissant.
- Space for multiple cows
- Convenient cup holders
- Heating⬇
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMThere is, of course, one final criteria to consider. Many men feel insecure about their manhood, so how does the C15 fare in addressing this problem ?⬇
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMFor this, I conducted a peer-reviewed scientific investigation taking into account the following criteria:
- Percieved penis size of owner
- Increase to general sex appeal
- Number of couples who can have sex in the back privately.⬇
Again, the numbers speak for themselves
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMSo ladies & gentlemen, if you really need a fast car to traverse the perils of the countryside, that can go off-road, carry multiple cows, and make you feel better about your manhood, don't buy an oversized pedomobile, or the overcompensator9000.
Get a Citroen C15.
Goodnight 🚙
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMCREDITS:
Baptiste Pitois for the incredible off-roading video (Check out his YouTube channel): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=78WQz6foOVw
Unknown for the cows, I downloaded it years ago from FB and can no longer find the post. But we can credit it to French farmers ❤️🚜
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMCOMMON EXCUSES FOR NOT BUYING A C15:
"THIS CAR WILL BE SHIT IN WINTER"
Allow me, if you will, to tell another story: I have friends who live in a deep valley. It snowed a lot. They own an SUV, could not drive out of the valley.
The entire village was resupplied by C15.
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PM"I NEED TO DRIVE THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE AMERICAN CONTINENT EVERY DAY"
C15 has you covered. The odemetres on most C15 have already passed the million mark and reset to 0.
The greatest challenge now is knowing how many times they have passed the million mark.
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMBONUS ROUND: #Tesla
Yes, the Citroen C15 can also drive "offroad" for 1/50th of the price of a #Cybertruck. And it can carry more cows.
Did I mention that unlike the Cybertruck, it has an innovative feature called "paint" which prevents rusting.
Jan 8, 2026, 5:13 PMFinal Note: I've brought this post over from my twitter account where it was originally posted, which I am no longer using.
Jan 8, 2026, 5:34 PM@jmaris
*Jeremy Clarkson voice*
have you ever wondered why they don't make thin-walled cars anymore?
@wolf480pl
...because of all of the environmentally unconscious USians who need to drive 5 kids 5 minutes to school in something that weighs as much as a tank, for safety.
Jan 11, 2026, 3:58 PM@Brad_Rosenheim @wolf480pl @jmaris Yes yes, people should forfeit their own safety and the lives of their children to protect Mother Gaia, down with modern safety standards! Be the first one to conserve the environment by getting off the internet please, we have more than enough climate change alarmist morons to fill your role.
@gsprs
I'll give you one chance to elaborate before blocking you.
Jan 11, 2026, 4:20 PM@Brad_Rosenheim @wolf480pl @jmaris What do you need further elaboration on? Modern trucks and SUVs are safer than the paper thin old shitbox this thread is about, no wonder families pick the former over the latter. “THINK OF DA ENVIRONMENT” can be pretty convincing if you’re talking about, say, moving to cleaner sources of energy, but when you’re calling people “environmentally unconcious” for putting their family first you sound braindead.
Jan 11, 2026, 4:21 PM@gsprs @Brad_Rosenheim @wolf480pl oh dear, it doesn't look like god has blessed you With the cognitive skill of differentiating between a problematic general societal trend and your own individual experience.
How sad.
Jan 11, 2026, 4:25 PM@jmaris @gsprs @Brad_Rosenheim
As if not having that cognitive skill is an individual problem and a problematic societal trend
Jan 11, 2026, 4:36 PManyway
I think it's perfectly reasonable for a person to prioritize their short-term safety over their ability to still live on earth decades from now.
I do not think it's clear to what extent a modern SUV is safer than other, lighter cars, including old cars.
And it's even less clear whether a lighter weight car with similar capacity to a C15 could be engineered to a modern safety standard with all the new tech we've learnt over last 3 decades.
Jan 11, 2026, 4:51 PM@jmaris @gsprs @Brad_Rosenheim
The last two are not questions about values, they're questions about facts.
I'd like to know the answers, but I don't know how one would go about finding scientific information on this topic.
What I do know though is that if you start arguing about values and making people feel threatened, people's brains will shut down and noone will learn anything from this thread.
@gsprs @wolf480pl @jmaris @Brad_Rosenheim I think it's disgusting for a person to prioritise their own short term safety at the expense of the safety of the people in the vehicle (or no vehicle) they crash in to. This is why massive SUVs are a moral scourge on society, and their drivers are morally suspect. They choose to damage others.
@downbeatdan Not to mention pedestrians.