Veterinarian's phone rings at 11pm.
"Doctor, doctor, our two dogs have been mating and I can't get them apart".
"No problem ma'am. Just hang up and put the phone beside them and I'll call them".
"But doctor, how will that get them apart ?"
"Well it just worked with me...."

I had stopped using my fitness watch because it (see picture) constantly bosses me around with targets and admonitions but today I wore it and reluctantly spent the morning in a hurry changing all the bedding around the house and turning the heavy mattresses and generally making things shipshape for the arrival of visitors and the Drill Sergeant suddenly barked that I had met my targets for the day and could stand down. So chores had suddenly metamorphosed into fitness achievements.👍 👍 👍

It is disgraceful that our local supermarket puts these temptations on their open shelves so that weak-willed people like me can't walk by without putting a few in our shopping baskets. They should be under lock and key or require prescriptions certifying a medical need. Drug peddling is illegal. Why isn't this ?

Gehören diese Snow Farmers auch zum Bauernverband und lobbyen mit ?

Am1.9.2021 las ich "Der Schutz vor Cyber-Attacken ist eine sicherheitspolitische Priorität der Regierung...Der Bundesrat will in der Armee neu ein Cyber-Kommando schaffen und den Personalbestand dafür ausbauen. Insgesamt sollen 575 Angehörige der Armee dort eingesetzt werden können.

Am 9.10.26 las ich "Cyberangriff auf eine Softwarefirma...vermutlich heikle Personendaten von Bundesangestellten abgeflossen.

Alles klar ?

File this under Rants & Rages. I'm fed up to the back teeth with companies that daily keep me at arms length with useless bots whenever I need help with one of their products. My partial solution is to buy my stuff from (a) a Swiss company which (b) has a store near my home where I can return products or request support and leave the work to the human beings with name badges behind the counter (identifying them puts a certain onus on their shoulders).
Any other ideas from you people out there ?

In the interests of simplification, future cars will no longer have keys and keyholes. To unlock your car you will need to install the CarKey app on your phone, fire it up, enter your 8-digit PIN code, press 'Go', wait till the car maker answers via the internet with the access code (valid for 15 minutes), enter the code, wait for the door to click open. No internet ? Call your garage to have them tow your car to a location with an internet signal and repeat steps 1-8.

Reminds me of a board meeting I once attended. Others among you may recognise it or variants....

Much of my day is like this with variants. Yours too ?

Things are much simpler now we can buy tickets online.

Why are the words "fuck/fucking/fucked" constantly used here in postings which have nothing to do with the pleasurable act of copulation ?

Groaning under the chores this morning I throw the clothes into the washing machine and hit the button and turn to the next chore. As I do so I suddenly think of my great-grandmother who lived on a simple little farm and had to wash the clothes by hand and with water carried from a nearby stream. Suddenly I stop groaning as I realise how easy I have it. I kick myself in my butt and straighten up and the sun starts shining and the day looks dead easy.

All this week I've been chatting with Giorgia Meloni and giving her some tips on how to govern Italy but now I discover that it wasn't Giorgia but an AI agent copying her voice.

Grrrrrr....

See https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckly0g1ljq2yo
and
https://roma.corriere.it/notizie/cronaca/26_ottobre_05/meloni-deepfake-marchio-vocale-dd9cb2f8-60c0-48f3-b2e7-9a39de131xlk.shtml

At least it's a consolation to know that my tips destined for Giorgia were probably vacuumed up by AI bots which will regurgitate them to anyone who asks for tips on governing Italy.

Your car’s app could be telling Big Tech who you are and where you go. See https://www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/2026/09/your-cars-app-could-be-telling-big-tech-who-you-are-and-where-you-go
After reading this I smirk whenever I fire up my ancient Fiat Panda and drive out of the garage to somewhere I shouldn't drive to.

I am being bombarded with ads for SmartFocus eyeglasses which, allegedly, change their focus according to the distance one is viewing. I can't imagine how a lens can change its focus automatically. Does anyone here use them and, if so, can they confirm that they work ? Or are their claims - excuse the pun - eyewash ?

Another way to get rich quick. In the 1920s in the USA cotton plants were being devastated by the boll weevil. Farmers were desperate. A guy advertised a kit "...guaranteed to kill boll weevils instantly" available by mail order for $20. Countless farmers immediately ordered the device and sent their $20. They received 2 laquered blocks marked A and B with instructions: "Place weevil on Block A. Place Block B on top of Block A. Hit Block B with hammer. Your weevil is now dead".

Just take a look at this fossilised goniatite picked up on a Cormac McGinley tour of the Clare, Ireland, coast. I never cease to boggle at the variety of images that Nature reveals to those who bother to look out for them. Things like this also get me thinking about time scales.

Nostalgia strikes ! Nothing is holy any more.
Two Southern colonels watching cotton being harvested by machines. One is saying "Ah miss the singin'. That's what ah miss."

For those looking for ways to make big money fast: decades ago a guy solicited investment moneys for a startup company that planned to extract gold from seaweed. He became rich overnight but the company failed to produce any gold ("We must have been using the wrong seaweed"). The moral of the story: don't be discouraged. There's always people eager to donate.

Google’s location data privacy failures draw a €403 million fine. See https://www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/2026/09/googles-location-data-privacy-failures-draw-a-e403-million-fine