Update: It turns out this guy is not a wizard. His name is Garth and he is a retired programmer. I need to stop assuming everyone with a beard and a pointy hat is a wizard.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Fireball Wizard Pin. I don't think that's the correct way to cast a fireball. But I'm not gonna be the one to tell the bearded weirdo with a rocket launcher that he's doing it wrong.
https://collabs.shop/sa3lch

Sometimes I'll sing it twice just to be cautious.

Feeling inadequate because everyone on Mastodon appears to be an author or a lawyer or a scientist?

Follow me and feel better about yourself, for I have the intellect of a clever potato.

Wow, I never knew that.

Please promise me you'll never say this.

This is how tomato sauce was invented. People would stomp the tomato doormats into a sauce, and then freaks would slurp it up off the ground.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Tomato Doormat. Contrary to popular belief, a tomato is neither a fruit nor a vegetable. Botanically speaking, it is a doormat.
https://collabs.shop/ah0jk9

Makes you think.

Oh, that's why we have so much debt?

I wish I could unlearn this.

I love Greek mythology.

To clarify, this post is pro-trashiness. I encourage you all to lie about your birthdays to steal free desserts from corporate chain restaurants.

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Stay Trashy Pin. The possum isn't trashy because he's in a trashcan, he's trashy because he lied about it being his birthday to get a free dessert at Applebee's.
https://collabs.shop/glmrmi

Wow, that's a lot of lakes.

Nature is crazy.

That's crazy.

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

And if that's not enough to help you relax, just think about how everyone you know will also be dead someday.

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this motivational Mug. I don't know about you guys, but I really needed to hear this inspirational message today.
https://collabs.shop/lu34ht