Had a dream I was impressing a girl with my LotR knowledge at the lockers, then we laughed at her normie bf who didn't even know the Two Trees of Valinor

I said I wasn't gonna go out tonight, but I kinda look too good to not

They got me

See yote go, drive so far
He go to town in his little car
Drive to stores, park in lot
Sweat his balls off, it fucking hot

He's thinking about magic systems

Everyone knows the alpha male is the one with the stretchiest asshole

#FlatCockFriday

José and the Bussycats

Things I've done today that are more important than my job:

Re-pot a plant

What kind of music genre is tongue and groove

Waiting for someone to realize that a stationary food truck you have to go TO is so short sighted. Have we forgotten ice cream trucks? Picture this: you're at home around dinner time, really not in the mood to cook. Sure you could go out, but— what's that sound? It's the corn dog truck, playing its distinctive corn dog truck jingle! And it just turned in to your neighborhood with a hot load of corn dogs and fries. Dinner is saved.

What is it about a black t-shirt with SECURITY that makes a guy hotter

Ah America, where I get a "meal for one" from the supermarket hot bar, and HALF of it fills my plate. And I'm an average sized adult hungyboi. Two meals for me then 😋

Guards! Eat his ass!

Get his ass implies the existence of put his ass, post his ass, delete his ass,

Oh to be a little animal that owns a home and only wears a shirt, sometimes a hat

damn bro you're really receptive to my pheromones today huh

Finally put up Booty Man in the bathroom

Today we bein lazy

She also hissed at me and hid under the bed, I can only assume because I tried some colognes at the store and smelled wrong