Aguirre, the Wrath of Khan
Directed by Werner Herzog and Michael Bay, this non-existent Star Trek sequel follows übermenschen attempting to colonise an ice planet occupied by nomadic, space-elk-herding people with ground too unstable for permanent structures or agriculture.
Inspired in equal parts by the historical Yermak Timofeyevich's campaign against the Siberian Khanate, and glamour models inside giant robots blowing shit up, with the help of Kirk and the crew, a cast of thousands attempt to portage a large Orthodox Bell over the frozen River Tunguska. Too heavy for the ice, Spock (Kathy Burke) and Lilly Phillips (inside a giant gynoid attack robot) fall to their doom. Who will save them?
The ending is enigmatic, with Kirk, injured and delirious, adrift on a makeshift raft surrounded by lemmings, heading downriver to arctic wastes. The closing quote is from Shelley's Frankenstein
The light of that conflagration will fade away; my ashes will be swept into the sea by the winds.
3 stars. No notes.